Vesties forever! Here comes our best 10 Tweets this week!
Me: hey Boss I couldn't help but notice we’re both wearing vests today!— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 7, 2019
Me: did we just become vest friends? lol.
Me: oh : (
Boss: but we are vesties!
Me: yay : )
We already cyberbullied one billionaire out of the presidential primary and we can do it again pic.twitter.com/5pRwD08qJc— Jules (@Julian_Epp) November 7, 2019
If you are wearing three layers or more you are legally allowed to call yourself a human lasagna— ♥ mark ♥ (@markedly) November 7, 2019
"feed the cat"— Noella Usborne (@no_el_la) November 5, 2019
– oversimplifies the dynamic
– sounds like a chore
"fatten the beast"
– pleasing to the ear
– gives power where power is due
Trump will extremely not like this graphic pic.twitter.com/2JgCQ8Nj3Z— MJ Lee (@mj_lee) November 7, 2019
Wife: Are you getting out of bed??— The Dad (@thedad) November 6, 2019
Me: I can't, I'm too weighed down by the stress in my life
Wife: The kids are sitting on you
Me: I just said that
“Well, there’s no circle thingy with the slash through it, so I guess it’s okay.” pic.twitter.com/EVcScBbUPB— The Personification of Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) November 6, 2019
Just so we’re all clear since there’s a lot of disagreement about birth years:— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 4, 2019
Boomer = Anyone older than you that you don’t like
Millennial = Anyone younger than you that you don’t like
This is amazing. pic.twitter.com/IkYWmiJKet— MCU Fanatics (@MCU_Fanatics) November 5, 2019
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years.— Dad's Puns (@DadsPuns) November 4, 2019
Dogs run and they live for 15 years.
Turtles don't do anything and they live for 150 years.