10 of the funniest Tweets of August

Enjoy our gems of the month. 🙂

#1:

Saw this sweet old man and his dope hat on the train today pic.twitter.com/2J7nrr5Bbf

— Mikale (@lilelonmusk) August 20, 2018

#2:

[FIRST DATE]

Her: I’m a vegan

Me: [*trying to impress her] People hate me too

— ☠️ Bonez ☠️ (@T_Bonezzz_) August 16, 2018

#3:

God: you nap 16 hours a day

Cat: love it

God: and you’re pretty much a killing machine

Cat: awesome

God: but you’re like 10lbs and humans wanna snuggle you

Cat: *angry glare* motherfu-

— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) August 6, 2018

#4:

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word.

— djinn (@shhhitsokaynow) August 15, 2018

#5:

Doing my makeup on the train this morning and a random man told me he likes women to have a more natural look. I told him I like men to have a more silent look. ?‍♀️

— Amy Fowler (@AmyAbroad) August 15, 2018

#6:

This. This is what friends are for. pic.twitter.com/mrCrWdn1Sc

— Platini ??️ (@Platini_954) August 2, 2018

#7:

Welcome to Sarcasm Club. Nice shirt.

— Brother Sal (@delusions_of) August 9, 2018

#8:

Before eating, ask yourself, “Am I actually hungry? Or am I just bored?”
Good news, eating will help both those things! Go get some cake you crazy scamp!

— MehGyver (@AndrewNadeau0) August 9, 2018

#9:

I call this part of the fridge “the butter’s penthouse”. pic.twitter.com/AlocMVqJxG

— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) August 4, 2018

#10:

So we played DnD with my 11yo cousin yesterday and it was his first proper session
He had real bad luck with his dice rolls and HIS ELF JUST DIED
After a solemn pause looking over his character sheet
He writes "Jr" next to his name and proclaimes
"I AM HERE TO AVENGE MY FATHER"?

— Niles (@River_Niles) August 1, 2018