EMERGENCY ACTION NOTIFICATION:
This is a state emergency. If you are a male or female and single, it’s ok. If you have no date for Valentine’s Day, it’s ok. If you are in your late 30’s living with your parent’s basement, it’s ok. At least that’s what I like to tell myself at night. But in all seriousness being single has its benefits. For example, no arguing about what to eat. Oh, one last thing, in case you missed part 1: 14 Tweets about the Single Life be sure to Click Here.
Am I sad because im lonely or am I sad because im disappointed? Find out on the next episode of Its Always Both
— wetty (@couldbezah) April 22, 2019
Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) May 6, 2014
I was on tinder for like a week then I got off tinder cuz everyone on there was in to hiking.
— Patrick Gill (@Pizza_Suplex) May 10, 2018
Being 30 and single is like being at a petting zoo that just has tarantulas and feral cats.
— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) May 21, 2015
Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it’s probably not worth it
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) April 20, 2018
Guy: I like a girl who’s good with money
Me: the city will bury you for FREE if they can’t identify your body
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) May 8, 2018
Valentine's Day plan:
1. Breakfast in bed
3. Watch movie
4. Dinner for two.
5. Regret eating two dinners.
6. Cry alone.
— pandamusk (@pandamusk) February 12, 2016
Dating apps be like:
Matt, 30, financial analyst, enjoys craft beer and hiking
Matt, 33, holding a dead fish: “let’s eat pizza and watch the office”
Matt, 28: “if you don’t work out we won’t work out” “go birds” 6’1” because apparently that matters”
— jb (@jessbee_) December 26, 2019
him: your single? why?
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me.
— Robin McCauley Lynch (@RobinMcCauley) March 5, 2014
Can't wait for Valentines Day. I'm gonna run into as many restaurants as I can shouting "Knew I'd find you here! You bastard" then run out.
— Ruthe Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) January 24, 2015
A cute girl at work walked by me while I was filling my water bottle. She smiled at me and rather than saying hi I let out a moan and said "Hydration am I right." #WhyImSingle
— Zack Feldman (@ZFelds) August 7, 2018