Another bunch of awesome Tweets for you. Our favourite this week is defenetly number 12!
#1:
Fun millennial costume ideas:
— Admiral SnaccBOO ? (@SimplySnaccbar) October 9, 2019
– Homeowner
– Sexy homeowner
– Chipotle burrito (obviously sexy)
– Person who doesn't suffer from multiple mental health issues
– Person who isn't struggling with a mountain of debt
– Sexy avocado toast
#2:
My girlfriend had a dream that I cheated on her and now I’m taking her shopping to apologise.
— Siya (@SeeYay) September 30, 2019
#3:
ME REGULARLY: *uses the same 3 things at home*
— Michael Halloween Name? (@Home_Halfway) October 9, 2019
ME PACKING FOR VACATION: I wonder if I'll need 4 French horns or 5
#4:
[before sex]
— marf (@MarfSalvador) October 7, 2019
her: it's really short
me: just wait til i get an erection
[later]
her: it's the exact same length
me: i know weird right?!
#5:
It has been brought to my attention that @FatboySlim has mixed @GretaThunberg’s speech into “right here, right now” and it’s incredible pic.twitter.com/16ZoVCG1Y7
— Matthew (@TorbsTalks) October 6, 2019
#6:
When you move to LA the first two things that happen are you get a parking ticket and someone who once worked for Ellen will tell you a story about how she's a monster
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) October 7, 2019
#7:
[Ordering ham on Amazon]
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) October 7, 2019
ME: *Completely alone in a room, talking to absolutely no one* Hamazon.
#8:
I can’t stop watching this pic.twitter.com/MNYH2rxdW1
— Alyssa Baltierra (@AlyssaBaltierra) October 6, 2019
#9:
Toddler: I want toast
— Marcy G ? (@BunAndLeggings) October 7, 2019
Me to husband: I don't want to give her toast
Husband: just tell her she already ate it
Me: you already ate your toast
Toddler: *eyes narrow*
Husband: you said it was yummy
Toddler: *walks away*
#10:
Okay this has to be one of the best tiktok videos I’ve seen yet 😭 #avengers pic.twitter.com/prMZGCqZWs
— EM (@Em_bexxx) October 6, 2019