The weekend is near and we will do our best to sweeten the start for you. 14 of the funniest tweets of this week, especially for you! Have fun!
One of the kids woke me up to ask if I was still sleeping, if any of you were thinking of having children.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 25, 2020
I hate when you break up with someone and they’re like “you’ll never find anyone else like me” like yea… that’s kind of the point
— cal? (@cal_gif) July 24, 2020
finding out that lionesses have sex 20-40 times in a day when they're in heat and if her man can't keep up with her she demands to mate by biting his balls has been the highlight of my day pic.twitter.com/Z8j8vdTc3A
— jasmine rice (@jasminericegirl) July 25, 2020
during a zoom meeting my boss announce that midyear bonuses aren't happen due to covid and i immediately poured out my coffee and refilled my mug with a white claw off camera
— ian (@ianiskool) July 29, 2020
Just imagine seeing this image with no context in 2014 pic.twitter.com/wI80vLabNV
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) July 29, 2020
Waking up 3 mins before I have to login from home pic.twitter.com/xYeeChTUlr
— AGAR and 99 others (@utterly_black) July 23, 2020
Me to my 11 yo: Thanks for making me a mom 11 years ago.
11 yo: No. Thank dad for having sex with you.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) July 28, 2020
bitches be like “im fine” but then
my tears ricochet
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺ volume:▁▂▃▄▅▆▇100%
— katie // 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒌𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒆 (@sayamenswift) July 24, 2020
— Peter Park (@peterparkTV) July 27, 2020
obama followed me in 2009 and today i noticed he had unfollowed me. legally this makes obama my ex. welcome to the club buddy.
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) July 29, 2020
My girlfriend and I are tired of the neighbors stomping their feet upstairs. pic.twitter.com/BAVbYcab9q
— Laugh & RT (@da_meme_dealer) July 27, 2020
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) July 24, 2020
flat-earther: why do you want to join our society
me: i just wanna stay ahead of the curve
flat-earther: [narrows eyes]
— suki (@desukidesu) July 27, 2020
it smells like oran-
the person behind me: pic.twitter.com/ul64ZTlRNR
— Huh-Beeb⛔️ (@hvbeeeb) July 25, 2020