There are many different stereotypes about fathers. There are strict fathers and then there are the annoying fathers. We also can’t forget about the embarrassing dads. Yes, the ones that will sit at the dinner table and just go on and on, on how your ex was funnier and smarter and when he’s coming back, oh wait, that was probably just my dad. Anyway, what I am trying to say here is that to all the father’s out there thank you!
Daughter: Alexa play Let it Go.
Me: when I was your age I had to call the radio station, wait on hold for 30 mins to request a song, then sit by my boom box for an hour with a blank cassette tape for my song to play so I could record it.
Daughter: I don’t know what that means.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) February 1, 2020
called my dad and told him there's a spider in my room and i need him to kill it but he said "you're twenty-five" and "you live three hours away" what has gotten into this man
— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) January 31, 2020
him: my dad left when I was younger, around 7
me: before rush hour, smart move
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) January 20, 2020
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on the plane?
Dad: *nudging me* that should have been you
Me: Please stop
Dad: Oya influence it na
Me: Dad, this is serious
Dad: Oya retweet it, maybe his helper is on your tl
— Four-eyed Edo boy™ (@Alex_Houseof308) January 28, 2020
If I had to sing a song to my dad in person, it would be like, "Can you help me with my taxesssss"
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) January 27, 2020
Being a Dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy-bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 18, 2017
So I invited my dad to a wedding dress event where all dresses are $150. The event starts at 7am but lines can form at 4am.
My Dad just called me and said he brought a chair and is the first person outside the building already waiting….. ITS 2:55AM.
— Elisa Ray (@elisista33) January 25, 2020
Me: grandpa's really racist huh
Dad: yes but he's from a different time
Me: no he is not. He's right here with us, and we're not racist
— Kyle🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) October 8, 2019
My dad just realized that the apartment his unmarried aunt has been living in for the past 20 years with her "best friend" Irene has one bedroom.
He's so confused.
"Does Irene sleep on the couch? She's 83! She shouldn't be sleeping on the couch!"
— na'ama⁷ (@iknownaama) September 20, 2019
Daughter: What does gays mean?
Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other – two men can love each other the same way
Her: So what's 'penetrating gays'?
Me: Er… read me the whole sentence
Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze"
— Ayn Randy (@ItsAndyRyan) September 11, 2018
him: “bet your dad is super proud of your onlyfans 🤢”
my dad: “how much do you think people would pay to see me in a thong?”
— Bijou ✨onlyfans✨ (@notbijoudemi) January 31, 2020
Every dad at the zoo: look I found your real family
— clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) January 26, 2020
Mom: how’s your little cult thing going honey?
Me: [sigh] mom Twitter isn’t a cult.
Dad: it sounds like a cult to me.
Mom: 80k people follow him Harold.
Me: seriously not a cult.
Dad: what do you call all those people?
Me: my followers.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) September 21, 2019
Son: "dad I just lost my virginity"
Dad: "congratulations my boy, let's sit down and talk"
Son: "I can't sit down, it kinda hurts"
— TIME BOMB💣 (@mhiztapaschal) February 1, 2020