Once again we bring you the funniest and best tweets from the week. Have fun!
dudes be like “at least i’m not selling my body” but r in the military
— stoner barnie (@theonlymattybee) September 12, 2020
“wE cAn DisAgReE aNd StIlL bE fRiEnDs”
yeah bitch, about pizza toppings, not racism. gtfo my face.
— William Vercetti (@williamvercetti) September 14, 2020
She was rare, like a teenager that replaces the toilet paper roll.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) September 14, 2020
I need everyone to understand that millennials don’t have printers at home. Please. I’m so tired of driving to print and scan documents.
— Annalisa Heppner (@Northernsirena) September 11, 2020
the abstract the paper pic.twitter.com/CohLwr28j4
— Dr. Geistbot, PhD (@Geistb0t) September 16, 2020
girls be like “happy birthday to the craziest person i know” and it’s just sarah
— Rachel (@femaleredhead) September 16, 2020
As a plus-size woman, most men have sex with me in secret and I've decided it's time I demand better for myself…from now on, I am ONLY having sex in the middle of Home Depot.
— Rachel Elizabeth (@feminist_th0t) September 12, 2020
me in 2004 me in 2020
I want to try kissing
but I am scared
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) September 12, 2020
there's no way my cat knows his actual name. i've given him like 10 new nicknames today alone. i just called him my sweet bowl of cheese and he was like ya i am
— james (@videojames_) September 12, 2020
— Daniel Barrett (@DanielJBarrett) September 14, 2020
the perfect tattoo DOES exist pic.twitter.com/jebcCdSL4j
— Rob N Roll (@thegallowboob) September 10, 2020
what do ALL of my tattoos mean??, well i am glad u asked. This one means i have $80. this one means I had $150. this one means I had like $350 just kicking around. This one means—
— brods (@fuckbrods) September 9, 2020
I bet his name is Spot pic.twitter.com/hOmgiCaDcm
— Living Morganism 🌱 (@ok_girlfriend) September 12, 2020
I drank last night and that little prankster (me, but intoxicated) hid my wallet as a funny prank
— Alpha (@Alpharad) September 10, 2020
Can't wait to see what this cheap wine I'm drinking tweets
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) September 11, 2020