We wish you ots of fun with the best and funniest Tweets of the week!
#1:
I have a friend who found out his parents voted for Biden. He's so pissed he's never visiting their graves again.
— Trump's Black Grandson (@MrMichaelBurkes) December 9, 2020
#2:
one time i made my barbie write a suicide note (to ken) when i was 7 or 8 and then my mom was like … “this is creative” instead of medicating me
— corie johnson (@corietjohnson) December 6, 2020
#3:
dudes will be like “nobody cares about your spotify wrapped” and then post a map of their running route
— Lumberzack (@ItsLumberzack) December 4, 2020
#4:
So excited to start my new advent calendar <3 pic.twitter.com/ll63YP9ILj
— G. L. DiVittorio (@ginadivittorio) December 2, 2020
#5:
a real life friend of mine described lasagna as "pasta cake" and said if they're gonna eat cake they'd rather have actual cake and I think I had a stroke
— Elf on the hill (@Mom_Overboard) December 8, 2020
#6:
Biden should seek a recount of Alaska just to fuck with Trump's head
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) December 9, 2020
#7:
"i will not be manipulated in my own fucking house" i shout as i reach for my cat's treats again
— jame (@video_jame) December 3, 2020
#8:
Deadliest days in American history:
1. Galveston Hurricane – 8,000
2. Antietam – 3,600
3. 9/11 – 2,977
4. Last Thursday – 2,861
5. Last Wednesday – 2,762
6. Last Tuesday – 2.461
7. Last Friday – 2,439
8. Pearl Harbor – 2,403— 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 (@Sundae_Gurl) December 9, 2020
#9:
pretty weird how no one in the White House wears a mask and everyone in the White House is getting covid. if only there were some obvious conclusion we could draw from this
— Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) December 8, 2020
#10:
what americans what it
think dystopia actually
looks like looks like pic.twitter.com/zBwMH8CR6s— Disney+ (@vibesrestored) December 3, 2020
#11:
can u imagine if someobody privatized air and literally started selling air for profit that would be crazy lol anyway i gotta go pay my water bill before my landlord kicks me out of my apt
— eli want for christmas is you (@jazz_inmypants) December 8, 2020
#12:
My parents bought an AR 15 to defend their rural missouri home from antifa but little do they know antifa has ALREADY INVADED THEIR HOME and is in their fridge eating all their shredded mozzarella at 2 am
— lori lightfoot resign immediately (@childbearer) December 6, 2020
#13:
when you tip your server at Gusteau’s restaurant in paris, that’s called gratatouille
— eli want for christmas is you (@jazz_inmypants) December 8, 2020
#14:
Time to change out of my day pajamas into my night pajamas.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 5, 2020
#15:
amazon at checkout: do u wanna donate to charity
me: BITCH DO YOU???
— kai™️ (@kaichoyce) December 6, 2020
#16:
fellas i found the perfect gift pic.twitter.com/sJojjvKT85
— h0tfather (@theb0tfather) December 9, 2020
#17:
Juice taste better when you stand there and drink it with the refrigerator door open
— fumbi🦋✨ (@NurseChocs) December 5, 2020
#18:
They used to laugh at him. And call him names. So he killed them. He killed them all. pic.twitter.com/uxx6b2sE4e
— Phaedra (@PhaedraXTeddy) December 4, 2020
#19:
My kid wants to be Batman so bad he bought us opera tickets in a bad neighborhood.
— Herschel Pennymacker (@pennymacker) December 3, 2020
