Spotify did this Wrapped-Up thing this week and we thought we could do that too. Just with the best Tweets of the week! We wish you a lot of fun with our Weekly!
What the heck is a “preemptive pardon” other than an admission of guilt?
— Dan Rather (@DanRather) December 2, 2020
bosses be like "this isnt just a job, it's a family and we genuinely care about u" then start ur salary at $7.35 an hour
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) November 29, 2020
Your twenties now extend to 32 to cover time lost to covid
— Billie (@_BillieBelieves) November 28, 2020
Shot, chaser pic.twitter.com/zPvuGBoE2k
— Miranda Yaver (@mirandayaver) December 1, 2020
IMPORTANT: if you’re still in line, stay in line. LEGALLY they have to sell you a PS5
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) November 28, 2020
— Elliot Page (@TheElliotPage) December 1, 2020
everyone please join me in loving and affirming elliott page and rejoicing in the now homosexual kiss between elliott and joseph gordon-levitt in christopher nolan’s INCEPTION, a movie that is becoming less and less heterosexual with each passing year
— ASYA (@communistbabe) December 1, 2020
Why do I support cancelling student loan debt for 45 million students? Because we canceled trillions in taxes for 600 billionaires. That's why.
— Scott Huffman (@HuffmanForNC) November 28, 2020
My mom when I opened up a bag of candy in the backseat of the car pic.twitter.com/REEKIJtUpF
— 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥🙆🏾♀️ (@Neyogems) December 1, 2020
i wonder if artists see themselves at the top people’s 60,000+ hour spotify wrapped like “wow that person gave me at least $3.74”
— giabuchi lastrassi (@jaboukie) December 2, 2020
spotify should be sued for this pic.twitter.com/JHD0XfYxSk
— Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt (@GKuhlenschmidt) December 2, 2020
My dog figured out the new car has heated seats pic.twitter.com/0FGykFCWq4
— Jay Willis (@jaywillis) November 29, 2020
Medusa: [disguising voice on phone] Ohh hello I’d like a hair appointment please, for my totally standard hair
Receptionist: *whispering* omg it’s her again
— Ella Zee 🌈👑 (@EllaZee5) November 27, 2020
How it started vs how it’s going ❤️✨ pic.twitter.com/Ap9VVBFYpm
— T’Keaira (@QKeaira) November 26, 2020
My 7yo wrote her letter to Santa but before she listed the gifts she wanted she wrote, “Btw, how’s Mrs. Claus?” and I’m pretty sure she’s gonna turn out okay.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 28, 2020
sorry to all the teenagers who can't "go for a walk" with their cousins before dinner this year
— Jake M. Grumbach (@JakeMGrumbach) November 26, 2020
Tried my new mask argument with a taxi driver. Wasn't wearing one & was angry about mine. 'I like the anonymity,' I said. ‘We’re the most surveilled country on earth. They’re listening to us through our phones to sell us shit. I don't wanna be watched’ Put his mask on. Outcrazied
— Oobah Butler (@Oobahs) November 25, 2020
I tell my cat “I know” whenever she meows but I’m gonna be honest, I have no fucking idea
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) November 26, 2020
8 year old me tryna see what the fridge looks like closed pic.twitter.com/JDYMUqwG3u
— Jaidan (@jaidvn) November 27, 2020
just woke up! time for me to ˢᵗᵃʸ ᶦⁿ ᵇᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵗʷᵒ ʰᵒᵘʳˢ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉᵐᵖˡᵃᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒⁿˢᵉᵠᵘᵉⁿᶜᵉˢ ᵒᶠ ᵉˣᶦˢᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ greet the day!!!
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) November 27, 2020