Want a humorous summary of this week’s events? You want the funniest Tweets of the last 7 days? Then we have just the right thing for you – our Weekly!
#1:
Whenever I see someone trying to parallel park I avert my eyes and continue walking giving them the privacy they need because I’m a decent human being
— Tomi Obaro (@TomiObaro) December 16, 2020
#2:
I think it's an encouraging sign that the next First lady will be a Ph.D with two masters degrees, rather than a model
It says a lot about their husbands, too
— John Cleese (@JohnCleese) December 14, 2020
#3:
if you ever used a straight man’s towel don’t worry about what’s in the vaccine
— giabuchi lastrassi (@jaboukie) December 14, 2020
#4:
My boyfriend got his covid vaccine yesterday and I can tell you the most prominent side effect is the inability to shut up about getting the covid vaccine
— Emaperidol (@Emaperidol) December 16, 2020
#5:
Not my son pressing me for 2 dollars…called me 4 times had my anxiety through the roof 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/cjc2bEpCXx
— Viral Toes (@britneychanel0x) December 10, 2020
#6:
thinking about how 2020 gave us more taylor swift studio albums than government stimulus checks
— duʿā bint lipa (@afroelven) December 10, 2020
#7:
quarantine taught me that u don’t need fun to have alcohol
— woahh mann (@ashhhhhhole) December 12, 2020
#8:
Does a vaccine mean I have to wear real pants again or can we all agree that elastic waistbands are here to stay?
— Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) December 13, 2020
#9:
neighbors left this on the door.. im gonna bake them some cookies 😭 pic.twitter.com/SQ0BiF6yTW
— Make America Purrr Again (@KittyBeeJr) December 14, 2020
#10:
I’m going out as a girl for the first time! pic.twitter.com/PM0zaONnVx
— Robin (@robxxnn) December 11, 2020
#11:
There's an old saying about raising kids: The days are long. The days are so, so damn long. I don't remember the rest.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) December 10, 2020
#12:
Artist: So how would you like to be painted, young lady?
Girl: With my favourite fish
A: Are you sure? It might di–
G: WITH MY FISH
A: … Ok
G: …. And also this drunk cat pic.twitter.com/FQoFYjh9OK— Emily Brand (@EJBrand) December 8, 2020
#13:
Its has become very clear to me why the 1918 pandemic was followed by the roaring 20s & why people were dressing up to go just about anywhere
— Jenni (@JenniDigital) December 16, 2020
#14:
Corona has showed me that if we had a zombie virus outbreak, we’d all be zombies within 2 weeks.
— J🌶 (@Jani__Gee) December 10, 2020
#15:
when twins arent identical im like ok then what was the point of all that
— carter hambley (@carterhambley) December 12, 2020
#16:
Update pic.twitter.com/vFQauEucug
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 16, 2020
#17:
If we had known how many times Biden would win this election we could have made it a drinking game
— Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) December 14, 2020
#18:
If Vladimir Putin has accepted the election results but you haven’t, you might have a problem.
— Amy Klobuchar (@amyklobuchar) December 15, 2020
#19:
The man behind me on this flight. DIED. OF COVID. MIDFLIGHT.
I have so many questions.
— Jo LaFlame (@jobreauxx) December 15, 2020
#20:
Somebody’s boyfriend reached out to me today and paid for his girlfriend’s full branding suite for 2021 in full – website, social media revamp, the whole nine. His Christmas gift to her was a full branding package for her new business. I will never settle, period.
— DOM 🧚🏽♂️ (@fairybrandmuva_) December 10, 2020
