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Imagine being impeached more times than you’ve been elected
— dani (@kordeilogy) January 13, 2021
One thing about them tables…. they turn baby! pic.twitter.com/J3tMCrMAUJ
— “Is Jamal Coming?” (@__justkeith) January 12, 2021
My wife and I are sitting on the couch watching tv and I hear a text, realizing I left my phone in the kitchen, I get up, go to the kitchen to check it…
and its a text from my wife:
Please bring the chips on your way back
— Doc 🍥 (@DocAtCDI) January 11, 2021
pandemic or not why do y’all get so close to people in line at the store
— wiz 🤴🏾 (@ilNeroBack) January 10, 2021
why is it spelled "camouflage" and not
— what the actual heck (@jazz_inmypants) January 11, 2021
I swear we are fighting two pandemics Covid19 and Stupidity
— Adrianna (@stfunell_) January 12, 2021
Get up. Get a routine. Get outside when you can. Move more. Focus on the day in front of you. (Not the month or year.) Don't live inside hypothetical catastrophes. Focus on what you can control. Even if it is your breathing. Don't beat yourself up for not baking banana bread.
— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) January 5, 2021
Teaching six year olds via zoom is so funny. I’ll spend 15 minutes explaining a literacy task and when I ask if they have any questions they’ll be like “do you have a cat?”
— ☁️ s o f t b o y ☁️ (@softboyuk) January 13, 2021
If you’re wondering if your partner treats you right just know this: My fiancé yelled in our house once and I flinched. He never yelled again. Its been 3 years of no yelling. We never even discussed it, he just saw that and stopped.
You deserve that too.
— Kayla Ancrum (@KaylaAncrum) January 12, 2021
Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) January 10, 2021
Twitter was a way for us to know where Trump was, like when they put a bell on a cow.
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) January 12, 2021
If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what you are doing with your hand.
— Matty (@bestestname) January 8, 2021
It’s now safe to turn off your computer.
— Microsoft (@Microsoft) January 9, 2021
"if i support trump it doesn't mean i support his political view"
THEN WTF DO U SUPPORT? HIS UPCOMING MIXTAPE?!?
— nata⁷ (@sunlitjoon) January 7, 2021
I don’t know who needs to hear this but throw away that box your iPhone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.
— Bisserat (@Bisserat) January 3, 2021
So Trump has access to the nuclear codes but he can't Tweet or post to Facebook.
— Andrew Ross Sorkin (@andrewrsorkin) January 7, 2021
How it started How it’s going pic.twitter.com/NVravrtadc
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) January 9, 2021
I’m still laughing at the fact that Tik Tok banned Tr*mp before he could ban Tik Tok 😭😭😭
— Midnight Meez (@MuthoniK20) January 9, 2021
-4° looks like a sad man on the toilet
— Acid Granny 🛒 (@AcidGranny) January 9, 2021
me going on a stupid little daily walk just to feel something pic.twitter.com/Yi6VVHVVB6
— ruby 🐊 (@roobeekeane) January 8, 2021