It’s been a rough week so let’s not waste any time and get down to business immediately. As usual, we spared no effort in the past week to provide you with the best tweets. Here are the top 20 of them. Enjoy!
#1:
“Whee!!!……Oh” pic.twitter.com/HII0JkuWDe
— Nickelforward (@NickelForward) May 20, 2021
#2:
i wasn’t productive at all during the pandemic but it was actually my first pandemic so i think that’s fine
— tony (@tony_ferraro7) May 23, 2021
#3:
me: I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting
clock repairman: I know, sorry
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) May 22, 2021
#4:
In 2015, my baby brother passed away at age 10 from a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Six years later, I’ve just submitted my Masters dissertation researching the genetic causes of the same condition. I hope you’d be proud of me, Max ❤️ pic.twitter.com/NIfrKMXX9D
— Molly Schiller (@Molly_Schiller_) May 19, 2021
#5:
I gave this homeless guy $5 and an old lady behind me told me he’s just going to use it for drugs, so I confronted him and asked where I could also get drugs for $5
— Benoît? In THIS economy? ⚪ (@NomDeBenoit) May 26, 2021
#6:
This is making me fully batshit insane. I’m gonna start crying pic.twitter.com/tFThSXyEzt
— insufferable little fruit (@chuchukelso) May 25, 2021
#7:
this is what people who watch fox news think NYC is like all the time pic.twitter.com/WDxfJwIcMT
— Brown Recluse 🥭 (@ElSangito) May 24, 2021
#8:
i hate that no matter what a kid draws, you have to be like “good job.” no brandon. the dog isn’t as big as the house. this is shoddy work. grow up
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) May 23, 2021
#9:
me, age 8: huh, the continents look like they’d fit together like a puzzle
me (learning about Pangea): holy fucking shit
— cass city (@HeavenlyGrandpa) May 22, 2021
#10:
paying my monthly rent that’s tripled since 2001 with my paycheck that’s the same dollar amount my dad was making in 1993 then opening the newspaper and reading stories about why no one has kids anymore
— Lauren (@ActNormalOrElse) May 24, 2021
#11:
Never in my life heard a story about a hamster dying peacefully. It’s always some crazy shit.
— gaslight🤎gatekeep⁉️girlboss (@JAjueny) May 24, 2021
#12:
bras in a-c cup: these have been crafted in lace by our finest silk worms
bras in dd+ cup: we have recommissioned these old army parachuted
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) May 21, 2021
#13:
oh don’t worry im fully vaccinated im just coughing uncontrollably because i choked on my own saliva
— ꧁Madimoiselle꧂ (@drivingmemadi) May 21, 2021
#14:
A lady just came up to me and said “Speak English, we are in San Diego.” So I politely responded by asking her “how do I say ‘San Diego’ in English?” The look of bewilderment on her face made it feel like a Friday.
— Da(Y)go Brown (@ArtyCurry) May 26, 2021
#15:
You think you have problems? I’ve had a Celine Dion song stuck in my head for a day and a half
— McMermaid☘ (@colleen_eileen) May 26, 2021
#16:
No wife, no note, no service. pic.twitter.com/2CuhVkWfXL
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) May 21, 2021
#17:
anybody who’s managed to get to the end of the pandemic without buying a dog, getting engaged or having a baby should receive £1000 each for this great feat of resistance
— flamin nora (@katierpacker) May 20, 2021
#18:
My mom and dad whenever they see a painting they like pic.twitter.com/YzfOjB9DVw
— Harry Tafoya (@gaykatemoss) May 25, 2021
#19:
still the craziest convo I’ve had on here pic.twitter.com/QALjq6uCQ3
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) May 26, 2021
#20:
i forgot the word «dosage» so i asked my doctor what my medication’s «serving size» was
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) May 21, 2021
Find out what happened last week on Twitter: