This week a courageous man set out to explore unknown expanses. Bravely he invested all his strength, a – for regular people as us quite big – part of his fortune and put all (two) scoffers who thought he would not make it in their place. Without fear of death he mounted his missile that seemed to be designed to never be touched by human skin and went off. 11 minutes later he was back and no one cared. What else happened within the last seven days? Find out with the best Tweets of the week!
#1:
Clark Kent: *sets glasses on kitchen table*
Lois Lane: Is that our table? I don’t recognize it.— Steve vs. Ninjas (@stevevsninjas) October 8, 2018
#2:
Accidentally opened the fitness app and my phone immediately called to report itself stolen
— Midge (@mxmclain) July 21, 2021
#3:
Look at logic. https://t.co/4EyrMlMScm
— Ben (@MrGoodlyCooks) July 20, 2021
#4:
i saved a guy from drowning in 2014 and now he lets me get drunk on the roof of the office building he owns
— James👹 (@Richard57941301) July 21, 2021
#5:
when I’m exhausted from work and financial stress and climate change anxiety I remind myself that even though things seem bad now, at least there’s still a pandemic
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) July 22, 2021
#6:
I heard my husband whispering to our daughter about ordering something on Amazon for her. Then I came home from the grocery today to this. pic.twitter.com/1AXk7rXBfJ
— Anna Gazmarian (@anna_gazmarian) July 19, 2021
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#7:
No job was safe from the pandemic pic.twitter.com/yqW71SCaUM
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) July 20, 2021
#8:
Cleaning your house before going on vacation and coming home to a tidy home is top tier
— muva goat 🐐 (@TheNotoriousKIA) July 21, 2021
#9:
oh, to be a piglet floating in a sink… pic.twitter.com/VsrNcy9mum
— So tired, so poor. (@Standplaats_KRK) July 18, 2021
#10:
waiter: your coffee
me: could I have a little spoon please?
waiter: certainly *delicately embraces me from behind*
me: lovely
— john (@mrjohndarby) July 20, 2021
#11:
new printers with ink are like $50 and replacement ink is $65 so it makes sense to buy a whole ass printer every time u run out of ink. capitalism at its finest
— witt (@50FirstTates) July 20, 2021
#12:
If I die after I pay my rent sit me on the couch till da 30th
— C. Roy (@cooliestillcool) July 17, 2021
#13:
me, looking at $900,000 houses with $76 in my bank account: interesting design choice but ok
— witt (@50FirstTates) July 21, 2021
#14:
my brain refuses to believe there are four ppl in this picture pic.twitter.com/6kLvmzoU0m
— ✰ тяαᥴꫀ ✰ (@flept) July 17, 2021
#15:
Some random dude just said this to me lmao
“I know people always ask you for money so I won’t. A car would be nice though”
— MrBeast (@MrBeast) July 20, 2021
#16:
My wife’s horse has a problem with flies bothering his leg wound so she harnessed her Doctoral degree and fashioned him jean suspenders… pic.twitter.com/BQOsOthyL3
— Ben Voytas (@BenVoytas) July 18, 2021
#17:
manifesting an older rich boyfriend by stuffing my bra with werthers originals
— McErin☘ (@colleen_eileen) July 19, 2021
#18:
please stop asking if I have kids those drawings are mine on the fridge
— Kari Assad – August 1st at the Nitecap in Burbank (@kariassad) July 19, 2021
#19:
Thinking about the slab of foam they gave me in the hospital because they “thought I’d enjoy it” pic.twitter.com/7Ndb0uvv3C
— Sophie (@jil_slander) July 20, 2021
#20:
I paid an extra $20 to double my internet speed and I thought they would have to come out for service or whatever but they just immediately turned it up lol. They just hold your bandwidth hostage.
— 53X W33D (@ih82tweetdood) July 20, 2021
#21:
More media about adults please because NO WAY is your show rated 18+ and it’s about high schoolers… are we seeing the problem?
— joshua david king (@joshuadavdking) July 19, 2021
