The nice thing about our Saturday recap is that we already did all the work during the week and only need to sit down for a few minutes to write an introduction that will get you in the right mood for our Tweet collection. It doesn’t matter at all if you don’t have an idea for the right words, you just google briefly what happened last week, then make a short detour to Wikipedia to check the correct spelling of a name. There you notice that the person you want to write about went to the same University as you did. Which makes you think of the guy who once came naked to class. So you invest an hour or two to find out that he now heads the legal department of a medium-sized company. Then you google the founders, relieved to find that the naked guy’s last name appears three times. Obviously, you do what you have to do and check him out on Instagram, to see him going on vacation for the fourth time this year and then spend the rest of the weekend writing on a list to convince your boss to raise your salary. Anyway, here are the best Tweets from the week. Enjoy!
If you think the vaccine is dangerous, you’re going to HATE global warming
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) July 23, 2021
Please talk salary with your friends and peers.
As someone who grew up pinching pennies, I couldn’t even fathom the amount I could get paid in tech. When I moved to SF, I asked for $100K, received a phenomenal offer at $120K, then realized everyone was getting paid $150K.
— Lily (@lilykonings) July 28, 2021
i have social anxiety. what if someone asks me to talk dirty during sex. i’d be like «thanks for doing this»
— jame (@videojame_) July 27, 2021
all bases covered pic.twitter.com/6G0gLfeutV
— Sam Winkler (@ThatSamWinkler) July 26, 2021
being a parent is great if you enjoy having your own advice thrown in your face out of context
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) July 26, 2021
Israeli athletes next to Iranian athletes in the Olympics.
Islamic Republic of Iran wants Iranians to hate Israelis. But many ordinary Iranians & Israelis don’t care about politics.
— Masih Alinejad 🏳️ (@AlinejadMasih) July 26, 2021
My favorite part of looking back on childhood is trying to deduce which adults in charge were just barely keeping their shit together.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) July 25, 2021
Did you know if you get your foot stung by a stingray they make you sit shamefully on the beach with your foot in a sack that says stingray and has stingrays on it pic.twitter.com/tglYkMDn04
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) July 29, 2021
Okay a barista asked for my number and I gave it to him and then he held out his fist and I FIST BUMPED HIM BUT HE WAS GIVING ME MY CHANGE ????
— soph (@sophiawpelton) July 27, 2021
Bullying successful women is a coping mechanism for a lot of mediocre men.
— Ahmed Ali (@MrAhmednurAli) July 28, 2021
Guy I hooked up with months ago texts me every few weeks when he sees a meme about bratz dolls and I’m obsessed with the concept of me he has in his brain
— big honkin caboose (@itsmegangraves) July 27, 2021
joining the war on drugs but on the side of the drugs
— thicc saban LLC (@yngjcb) July 27, 2021
not celebrating another birthday after 23, just going to sit silently and think about how i let it get to this point
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) July 26, 2021
I am obsessed with the stance on this sharpshooter pic.twitter.com/DagufxorxL
— Zoe! That’s Me! (@Blankzilla) July 26, 2021
lots of people seem to think the goal is “stop wearing masks” when the goal is actually “end the fucking pandemic”
— andrea grimes (@andreagrimes) July 28, 2021
how do y’all date multiple ppl at once i’m attracted to 1 person every 7 years
— muna lisa (@prettyIegend) July 25, 2021
marie antoinette (2006) pic.twitter.com/XADCf5WvyG
— ecto🦠zilla (@ecto_fun) July 22, 2021
everyone knows that emotionally the day ends at 330
— gal debored (@ckayerawlings) July 23, 2021
Got a CV today and the guy literally listed one of his skills as ‘googling’
We’re interviewing him
— Cat McGee (@CatMcGeeCode) July 23, 2021
«Pronouns are confusing» Okay how about you try canceling a gym membership
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) July 28, 2021
the grip this had on middle schoolers https://t.co/BCaUKLEqga
— clay (@bitchrespecter) July 27, 2021
Anything before last week is just a blurry concept? We bring your memory to life: