Happy weekend everyone! It’s Saturday and if you got up before 10am, you might want to use the weekend to google for doctors in your area. Except you have kids, then it might be a little late for that. However, if you don’t have any plans for the next 48 hours that are kindly made available to you by our beloved economic system, why not try a picnic. It is basically the same as normal food just on the floor and without dishes, but it automatically makes you feel like a 19th century Englishman and you finally get to talk like a cast member of «The Crown». Or you can cheat imperialism and just enjoy the best Tweets of the week. Anyway, have fun and enjoy the weekend!
#1: It was probably way easier to choose your profile picture back then
I miss the 1920s when it was normal to have 2 pics of you taken in your entire life. That’s all you really need
— ምኞት (@blanketm9) August 2, 2021
#2: But what???
If only there had been something to prevent this pic.twitter.com/ZuMmKW6Fnn
— Julicorn 🦄 (@ChicksRule) August 3, 2021
#3: Listen to the man
Do. Not. Remove. The. Golden. Eye. From. The. Unnaturally. Large. Holy. Woman’s. SKELETON.
— Like Kurosawa, I Make Mad (@the_moviebob) August 5, 2021
#4: Watch out for this chicken
Stop taking social media so serious. Nothing here is real. Look at this chicken 🐓🚗 it is bigger than the car
— Leo Xander (@STALLE0N) August 3, 2021
#5: This Tweets is what social media was invented for
Just got a message from my boss about something I very CLEARLY put in an email and I replied on my Apple Watch but then said aloud “did you not fuckin read?” And it SENT THAT TOO pic.twitter.com/ZgeQrlmp3L
— Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) August 4, 2021
#6: We should start teaching statistics
3 deaths have been linked to getting vaccinated and 4.23 MILLION deaths have been linked to NOT getting vaccinated. It’s so hard to decide.
— Grey DeLisle-Griffin (@GreyDeLisle) August 2, 2021
#7: As for us: sloth
“are you an early bird or a night owl?” idk man i am only good for 4 hours in the middle of the day, like, 11-3. i’m in a fugue state as i type this
— madrigal (@whatmaddness) August 3, 2021
#8: An overrated skill anyway
I spelled my name wrong in an email about a job opening. My name. Wrong. But definitely very detail oriented and works well independently.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) August 4, 2021
#9: He’s gonna find out soon
how’s my morning? don’t know yet I haven’t asked my wife if I was an asshole in her weird dream
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) August 2, 2021
#10: Well, they’re really trying
the funniest thing about the anti-vaxx ppl is they’re also anti mask so like…what’s the plan here babes how we dealing with this whole deadly pandemic thing? is it healing crystals? positive affirmations?? i jus wanna know
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) August 5, 2021
#11: Streaming Delta + these days
Please get vaccinated. pic.twitter.com/p2oYG8oUxJ
— Shannon “Badass Cross Stitch” Downey (@ShannonDowney) August 3, 2021
#12: Oh god
DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE HIM WEAR HIS LAST NAME LIKE THAT pic.twitter.com/WmANL7ohTo
— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) August 2, 2021
Oh this? Just Olympic champ @TomDaley1994 knitting in the stands while watching the diving. 🧶 pic.twitter.com/o17i6vsG2j
— Olympics (@Olympics) August 1, 2021
#14: Love to everyone in lavender marriages
Was just talking to a gay man, 75 years old. who married a lesbian. She had a partner and this was in like 1960. The three of them moved in together. Then he got a partner and his partner married her partner and they raised kids together. And my HEART.
— 🌈Dr. Frizzle (@Swilua) August 1, 2021
#15: The gin and tonic shaped spaces in our stomachs know what he’s talking about
6YO: Can I eat a cookie?
Me: Finish your dinner first
6YO: My stomach is full except for a circle shaped space
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 2, 2021
Doctors: ADHD medication is addictive, that’s why it’s so restricted and controlled
Most people with ADHD: I forgot to take my meds again lmao
— Ade (@ADHDelaide) August 3, 2021
#17: This does apply to everyone
Dear Young Adults,
You can leave.
If you don’t like your doctor, walk out in the middle of your appointment.
Leave the party. End the date. Don’t wait until the “polite” time to leave or endure because you think you’ll make a scene.
You can go.
— Erin Kennedy (@erinstwitsexual) August 3, 2021
#18: Totally relatable
This is Patsy. She fell asleep in the rain and is now convinced she’s having an out-of-body experience. 14/10 pic.twitter.com/IBydhfScbp
— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) August 2, 2021
#19: Looking forward to tell the grandchildren about that era
if we go back in lockdown can we not do the toilet paper hoarding phase again like what the fuck was that
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) August 2, 2021
#20: Good luck
I just want to be as rich as my kids act like we are.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) August 3, 2021
#21: How can he hold still like this?
How to draw a dog.. 😅 pic.twitter.com/PElbO1m9FN
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden_) July 30, 2021
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