This week we intensively discussed the two epic fights most of us are facing in one form or the other. Number one being the endless, bloody yet very entertaining two-front war between Gen Z, Millennials, and Boomers. The other one the earth-shattering hate-love that can only be summarized as bras vs boob-owners. What else happed in the last seven days? Find out with the best Tweets of the week!
#1: How are we supposed to fall asleep???
every movie is too quiet AND too loud, why are they doing this
— Amy (@lolennui) August 15, 2021
#2: Sorry, boss, no applications yet
Just saw a job ad for a Latin teacher. Ad specified that successful applicant must be a native speaker of the language.
Good luck with that.
— Dr Emma Louise Barlow (@emloubarlow) August 16, 2021
#3: They … don’t?
ngl i thought vampires sucked blood through their pointy teeth. like teeth straws. im an idiot
— jame (@videojame_) August 14, 2021
#4: Spoiler: It’s the pet
Parents be like «i don’t have a favorite child» then use one of your siblings birth dates as a password
— YKTFV 🇬🇧 (@Gold_Apparels) August 19, 2021
#5: So somebody else noticed?
Nation that lost over half a million people to pandemic complains of labor force shortages and declining birth rates, while turning away refugees.
— Alexander Chee (@alexanderchee) August 16, 2021
#6: Dude’s on the wrong app
Thinking about how my first ever Tinder date in 2014 ended with the guy texting me that night «I don’t see you being someone I could ever love»
— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) August 18, 2021
#7: Congrats!
My little 5-year old leukemia patient, all grown up, received her white coat today as a medical student at UVA. No words to describe my feelings about this miracle, but the picture is worth a thousand words (tweeting with her permission). pic.twitter.com/zQb47KzXO1
— Loren Walensky (@LorenWalensky) August 13, 2021
#8: No need to read this room
It’s the anniversary of my mom making me this cake to show how she felt about me getting my first tattoo 10 years ago pic.twitter.com/su4vMWRmYK
— Eric Magnussen (@EricMagnussen) August 16, 2021
#9: Can’t wait
9 wants to protect the environment so she’s going vegetarian, “except for bacon and sausage for breakfast and the occasional hamburger,” so we can all relax now and watch those sea levels fall.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 17, 2021
#10: Sounds like Stephen King made this up
Yesterday at active shooter training, we were told that if there was a shooting at our school, we could use our masks from the pandemic to stuff the bullet wounds of the children.
— Emily • she/her (@booksfightback) August 14, 2021
#11: So much fun!
when we were kids, adults were really like «let’s teach you to spell with this game about hanging a man»
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) August 15, 2021
#12: Like he’s just asking for it
My husband lost a bet and has to wash the dishes for a month, and I just got a credit card alert that someone just spent $200 at Costco.
If that man walks in the door with $200 of paper goods, I’m making it 2 months.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) August 13, 2021
#13: Did you tell them you’re a native speaker?
I applied to a job 45 mins ago and they’ve already emailed me saying no 💞
— ethan 🕊 (@_Ethxn_) August 17, 2021
#14: Please don’t tell them!
me talking to my 31 year old friends: Were all gonna be freaking rich and famous when we grow up
— derek (@derek8185338005) August 14, 2021
#15: You gotta love capitalism!
paid off my car and my credit score dropped 35 points lmfao love this very real system we base our entire lives on
— bibo (@biboofficial) August 13, 2021
#16: Just get your tattoo and be quit about it
how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions
— llama in a tux (@LlamaInaTux) August 15, 2021
#17: Dan’s never coming over again
Our friend Dan was watching our cats for us and Katie left him these instructions and have a mentioned lately that I love my weird wife? pic.twitter.com/2eL8bJcmRo
— Norrin Hester (@norrinhester) August 15, 2021
#18: King!
went to buy beer at my bodega and realized i didn’t have my ID. i apologized to the kid working the counter, who simply said, “i don’t care. i’m 15.”
— kristofer thomas (@kristoferthomas) August 18, 2021
#19: Oh my god …
“why don’t people trust scientists and follow the rules?” i say as i shove a q-tip 2 inches into my ear canal
— cass city (@HeavenlyGrandpa) August 13, 2021
#20: Except you’re a parent. Then you wonder who got stuck in the stair railing this time
If you text “call me” just know I’m trying to prepare myself for who died
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) August 15, 2021
#21: This comes right after «You’re such a good listener!»
guys will ask u literally zero questions & be like “ur so mysterious”
— chase (@_chase_____) August 15, 2021
Remember the good old days?
