So this week we talked about the two things that define us as a sophisticated, reflective, and enlightened society. A) drinking fermented grape juice like a medieval clergyman before the invention of the sewage system and B) destroying one of the few functioning and safe systems for sex work for the sake of conservative idiocy. What else happened? Find out with our carefully selected Tweets of the week!
#1: This totally includes Cruella!
What’s your favorite film genre? Mine is the Wikipedia page for whichever horror movie I’m too afraid to watch.
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) August 25, 2021
#2: So this is a world-wide phenomenon?
only knew a few double-majors in college so it’s amazing to see so many experts in both virology AND international relations living their best lives
— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 26, 2021
#3: Our plans for Monday
this honestly looks like my daily to do list pic.twitter.com/8pCx8gUB6k
— orion carloto (@orionvanessa) August 24, 2021
#4: Did you lay him down in a bed of roses?
The second time I slept with someone (ever in my life) I whispered “your body is a wonderland” as a joke and he had never heard the song and thought I was just being earnest
— Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg) August 25, 2021
#5: Most of you at least
You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously, y’all. Stop it. https://t.co/TWb75xYEY4
— U.S. FDA (@US_FDA) August 21, 2021
#6: Tried the dewormer yet?
brutal lol pic.twitter.com/YPLMQriFRh
— Berry Deals 💰💸🪙 (@bloodberry_tart) August 22, 2021
#7: Someone is trying to get rid of you …
My son has a shirt that says, “my dad can beat up your dad,” and honestly I don’t like the pressure
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 25, 2021
#8: Come on, people
Covid variants are not being made in a lab, they being made in y’all stupid ass bodies cause y’all wanna be human petri dishes instead of getting a couple shots and wearing a mask
— 24k 🧸 (@juptrcalls) August 24, 2021
#9: What Hettie’s mom says
My Mom was a nurse for more than 35 years. A piece of advice she gave us: Never go to the hospital alone let them see you have someone who cares (an advocate).
— Hettie V. Williams (@DrHettie2017) August 21, 2021
#10: Donald, is that you?
«you never buy me anything» says my 8yo laying in the bed of the condo I bought on the beach, eating the snacks and playing with toys I just bought him. All because I bought myself a coke and not him.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 25, 2021
#11: New glasses?
What a difference a year makes pic.twitter.com/hM2VAkWv5J
— Donna Dogood is now Hope (@tamparsenalfan) August 24, 2021
#12: Seriously, take this to Instagram (click on the pictures for mroe)
Been chatting to this girl on tinder for the past few days. Only turns out that I adopted her Labrador a few years ago 🥲 pic.twitter.com/F6OfRXKvcn
— JimNo (@JimNo1871) August 24, 2021
#13: Truly one of us
Stormi got to play make-believe poor today 🥰 ✨ pic.twitter.com/8VUajF7K5C
— King Al G Rhythm (@TheBryceShow) August 24, 2021
#14: Hear, hear
when i hear people talking about working 80 hour weeks and grinding nonstop its so inspirational. really inspires me to never get a shit job like that
— not three raccoons in a trenchcoat (@50FirstTates) August 23, 2021
#15: So not the dewormer, hm?
18 months into this pandemic, I was the first person to explain to my patient who is deaf and experiencing homelessness what coronavirus is using an ASL interpreter. He agreed to get vaccinated immediately.
— Abhi Kole, MD, PhD (@DrDrAbhiKole) August 25, 2021
Bob is 87 and has Parkinson’s. His doctor told him to exercise.
He called and showed up and has been coming three times a week
Bob deserves unlimited retweets for his efforts 👊
— Kevin W. (@Brink_Thinker) August 21, 2021
People who say “hardly any kids will die from Covid” have never been to a student’s funeral. I’ve been to too many student’s funerals.
— Levis Becker (@LevisBecker) August 25, 2021
#18: Or never
I get home late, dead tired, & see my name in big, bloody letters on the bedroom wall – & I’m like, nope, I will deal w/ THIS in the morning
— blake (@Leemanish) June 21, 2015
#19: No party without them!
Me: will there be sausage rolls?
Margaret [sobbing uncontrollably]: th-there-
Me [louder]: Margaret. Your husband’s funeral. Sausage rolls?
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) October 25, 2015
Dystopian fiction is when you take things that happen in real life to marginalized populations and apply them to people with privilege.
— an unofficial Hugo book club blog (@Hugo_Book_Club) August 20, 2021
#21: Solid work!
Just checking the wall.. 😅 pic.twitter.com/IWsyLBQUr5
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden_) August 26, 2021
Remember the good old days when no one cared about OnlyFans?