Attention Attention! Get some popcorn, lay down on the sofa, enjoy the start of the weekend! Grab a blanket and our best Tweets of the week! Have fun!
#1:
the NBA should have one day a year where everyone plays in jeans
— Sam Fishell (@SamFishell) April 10, 2021
#2:
my vaccine lady held out the little Moderna vial to me like a sommelier would show you a wine bottle and i sort of panicked and said "yes perfect thank you" like a fucking idiot
— Law Boy, Esq. (@The_Law_Boy) April 11, 2021
#3:
if they made alexa a male, every answer would start with “well actually…”
— cella paz (@cellapaz) April 8, 2021
#4:
Forgot I’d washed the dog’s blanket and David Bowie cushion.
Nearly just had a heart attack. pic.twitter.com/7Uh9nLvh8k— alex boardman (@alxboardman) April 6, 2021
#5:
Does anyone else start hearing the Jumanji drum sound right before their kids come home from school?
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) September 17, 2019
#6:
people will say "oh i love the vaccine" and then only get it once or twice
— violin bug (@violinbug) April 5, 2021
#7:
I got the Pfizer vaccine and pso pfar pno pside effects.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 8, 2021
#8:
After a blind date, unsure of what to say, I sent him a text that just said “giggity giggity.” 19 years later we are happily married with 5 kids all because I sent that text to the wrong number.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 8, 2021
#9:
his name is grape soda pic.twitter.com/bfKCFZhI5A
— cora 🙂 (@coraraejepsen) April 10, 2021
#10:
ok the queen is single just as the clubs are about to open up 👀
— Doug (@DougEatDoug) April 9, 2021
#11:
You really have to respect the versatility of mint. Good in cocktails, chocolate, with meat, in ice cream, as tea. Just at home in a salad as it is in a cigarette. A whole genre of sweets that are just called “mints”. And it’s the only mainstream toothpaste flavour. Insane herb.
— Eleanor Margolis (@EleanorMargolis) April 10, 2021
#12:
did you sleep well?
me : pic.twitter.com/Hi4YgnybOa
— hujjah🍁 (@hujjaahh) April 9, 2021
#13:
Excited to tell my grandkids that during the pandemic I did not learn any new skills, I didn’t get fit, I had no children, and I became overall slightly worse as a person
— Hope Rehak (@HopeRehak) April 5, 2021
#14:
this was Netflix before Netflix 😂 pic.twitter.com/itAB1aRHqT
— Jenny 🦋✨ (@jenny_rsa) April 3, 2021
#15:
living with roommates is fun because you get to learn what their parents think should be refrigerated
— hottest bitch in joann fabrics (@teehee_sarah) April 4, 2021
#16:
Stupidity is knowing the truth, seeing the truth but still believing the lies. And that is more infectious than any other disease.
— Richard Feynman (@ProfFeynman) April 5, 2021
#17:
I just got kicked out of flat earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet .
— Al Snow (@TheRealAlSnow) April 5, 2021
#18:
the number of billionaires in the world increased by 30% during the pandemic in case you thought we were all in this together
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) April 8, 2021
#19:
My child got sent to Zoom detention for not paying attention in Zoom 4th grade. Email said here’s the link to access the room to serve detention.
I swear I’m trying so hard to take this life seriously.
— Uju Anya (@UjuAnya) April 6, 2021
#20:
how you know the vaccine is working pic.twitter.com/Xic9oJhB1O
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) April 9, 2021
#21:
The good thing about Science is that it’s true, whether or not you believe in it.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 11, 2021
