Since Trump admitted defeat by accident yesterday (well, «admitted» in a way only Trump or a senile chihuahua could do it), we’re back with an all time classic: COVID-19. To be fair, more of a 2020 classic, but you catch our drift. It’s not like this year could surprise us with a whole new circle of hell in a heartbeat, but until then we’ll have to work with what we got. In this spirit, we hope you’re not already sick* of the topic and some of our gems can make you smile a bit. Let’s give it a try? Enjoy.
*we’re so, so sorry, but the author waited for weeks to score this pun. Our deepest apologies.
#1:
Just bought 6 pounds of cheese. Won't need toilet paper now.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) March 13, 2020
#2:
Some of you can do exactly what you do at the gym right in your own homes. Just find some sort of bench, pull out your phones and just fucking sit there, texting.
— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) March 18, 2020
#3:
me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck
— lydia đ (@lydiakahill) March 19, 2020
#4:
Me [pouring a can of baked beans into a wine glass]: I wouldnât say quarantine has changed me, no
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) March 20, 2020
#5:
Chocolate chip cookies were once a soothing snack at the beginning of quarantine. They have now progressed to dinner.
— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) July 7, 2020
#6:
Our 5 year old seems to have deemed himself the local virus warden.
Over the fence to our neighbour:
âJEAN YOU NEED TO GO INSIDEâ
âOkay I will in a minuteâ
âYOUâRE OLD AND THEREâS A VIRUSâ
âIâm not that old thank youâ
âHOW OLD ARE YOU JEAN?â
âIâm 68.â
âTHAT IS NEARLY 70 JEAN.â— Adam Bedford (@adambedders) March 19, 2020
#7:
I had to buy a second can of Lysol so that I could sanitize my first can.
— The Baron (@baronvonbike) March 13, 2020
#8:
very apparent now that the best thing about meeting up with people in person was not having to look at your own face while you did it
— Imogen West-Knights (@ImogenWK) March 20, 2020
#9:
Iâm eating less so the alcohol hits me more itâs called rationing maybe youâve heard of it
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) March 18, 2020
#10:
if youâve ever used a frat house bathroom youâre immune to the coronavirus
— Holland Beck (@hollaa_backk) March 2, 2020
