Since Trump admitted defeat by accident yesterday (well, «admitted» in a way only Trump or a senile chihuahua could do it), we’re back with an all time classic: COVID-19. To be fair, more of a 2020 classic, but you catch our drift. It’s not like this year could surprise us with a whole new circle of hell in a heartbeat, but until then we’ll have to work with what we got. In this spirit, we hope you’re not already sick* of the topic and some of our gems can make you smile a bit. Let’s give it a try? Enjoy.
*we’re so, so sorry, but the author waited for weeks to score this pun. Our deepest apologies.
Just bought 6 pounds of cheese. Won't need toilet paper now.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) March 13, 2020
Some of you can do exactly what you do at the gym right in your own homes. Just find some sort of bench, pull out your phones and just fucking sit there, texting.
— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) March 18, 2020
me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck
— lydia 🍃 (@lydiakahill) March 19, 2020
Me [pouring a can of baked beans into a wine glass]: I wouldn’t say quarantine has changed me, no
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) March 20, 2020
Chocolate chip cookies were once a soothing snack at the beginning of quarantine. They have now progressed to dinner.
— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) July 7, 2020
Our 5 year old seems to have deemed himself the local virus warden.
Over the fence to our neighbour:
‘JEAN YOU NEED TO GO INSIDE’
‘Okay I will in a minute’
‘YOU’RE OLD AND THERE’S A VIRUS’
‘I’m not that old thank you’
‘HOW OLD ARE YOU JEAN?’
‘THAT IS NEARLY 70 JEAN.’
— Adam Bedford (@adambedders) March 19, 2020
I had to buy a second can of Lysol so that I could sanitize my first can.
— The Baron (@baronvonbike) March 13, 2020
very apparent now that the best thing about meeting up with people in person was not having to look at your own face while you did it
— Imogen West-Knights (@ImogenWK) March 20, 2020
I’m eating less so the alcohol hits me more it’s called rationing maybe you’ve heard of it
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) March 18, 2020
if you’ve ever used a frat house bathroom you’re immune to the coronavirus
— Holland Beck (@hollaa_backk) March 2, 2020