«Due to the current situation, kindergartens and schools are being closed in many European countries. From now on children must be looked after at home»
Dislikes: Employees, employers, self-employed, parents
Especially in the current time parents, especially in Europe, don’t have it easy. Schools and kindergartens are closing and now we all face the terrific task of combining work and childcare. This means that between phone conferences and emails, there’s always a «Mom, look!» or «Daddy, will you play me?» Our condolences, dear parents, we suffer with you! What’s why we’ve gathered 14 Tweets for your amusement. Enjoy!
toddler: I peed on the carpet
me: yes you did, is that the potty?
me: you pee in the-
me: do you pee on the carpet?
narrator: 30 seconds after this conversation the toddler once again peed on the carpet
— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) November 19, 2019
My Kids’ Top 5 Favorite Thanksgiving Dishes:
1. Half a dinner roll
— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 28, 2019
So you people with kids just accepted that having a clean house is no longer a thing I guess?
— Samantha 🇨🇦 (@ItsSamG) December 15, 2019
I hope your coffee is warm, your kids' laughter sounds like magic, and your house feels like a home. But most of all, I hope you realize that your children look at you and feel warm. They look at you and see magic. They look at you and feel home.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 7, 2020
Fuck this, I’m out. pic.twitter.com/h6jItbG1J8
— 𖤐 Father Drinks McGee 𖤐 (@drinksmcgee) November 8, 2019
Stranger: Awww, look at how beautiful you are
My toddler: My daddy says my farts smell like flowers
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) January 15, 2020
This week my kid (nicely) asked me to stop inquiring about her day after school because "it is a little annoying to get the same question every day" and that if she had something important to tell me she would.
SHE IS NINE WHAT THE FUCK
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) February 6, 2020
Toddler is melting down in the library. The mom is mortified. A stern old lady approaches & I hold my breath. «It’s okay,» she tells the mom. «I’ve been there. You’re doing great.» And then to the toddler, «You’re doing great, too. You’re doing your best.» ♥️
— Joy McCullough (@JMCwrites) January 19, 2020
3yo: dad you have to go to time out.
3yo: you said ‘fuck you.’
Me: no I didn’t.
3yo: pretend that you did.
3yo: do it!
3yo: DO IT!
Me: fine I said ‘fuck you.’
3yo: MOM! DAD JUST SAID ‘FUCK YOU’ TO ME.
Me: really dude? Fuck you.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) March 5, 2020
Yesterday I scalded my hand at work when boiling water sloshed over the side of a mug. I made some joke about being clumsy to the kind scientist who was offering me first aid. Then he looked me in the eye and said in the most serious tone:
“We are all victims of physics.”
— Laurel Hamers (@Arboreal_Laurel) February 26, 2020
My child asked for a play date with a friend – and then proceeded to come up with an exit strategy.
“If I say I’m tired, that means we have to go home and eat snacks.”
I’ve never felt more seen and understood and proud than I did in that moment.
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) October 3, 2019
if my kids are ever called to testify against me, there are two equally likely scenerios
-they detail my crime in excruciating detail
-they incorrectly describe the plot of an episode of scooby doo
— Pats O› Tweetin ☘️ (@PatsATweetin) March 4, 2020
Toddler: we watch peed her pants
Me: you peed your pants?
Toddler: no PEED HER PANTS
Me: who peed her pants!?
Toddler: we watch PEED HER PANTS!!!
Me: Peter Pan?
Toddler: ya peed her pants
— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) March 9, 2020
I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to a bunch of toys stacked on top of me, which is the toddler’s version of drawing a dick on my forehead.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) March 3, 2020