It's been 82 days since I tested positive for COVID-19, and I'm still experiencing symptoms. After 82 days of nausea, fatigue, coughing, and chest pain, I can promise you this: that birthday party, happy hour, or gym class is *not* worth the risk. Also, wear a f*cking mask.

Best of Twitter from July 9, 2020

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the Best of Twitter News! Our daily topics today: video games then and now, the soap game and the love of the first accident. We wish you a good time …

Maybe I’m a goddamn bleeding heart liberal hippie but I would definitely pay $0.50 more for fries if it meant the person making me those fries didn’t have to work 3 jobs to survive

Best of Twitter from July 8, 2020

It’s the middle of the week and most of the world is slowly starting to recover from the effects of COVID-19. Life goes on. And at some point, we can tell our children and grandchildren …

I've started using Shrek as a unit of time, where 1 shrek = 1hr 35min (the length of the movie) Examples: "See you in a shrek!" (1hr 35min) "Dinner will be ready in half a shrek." (47.5min) "My birthday is only 469.9 shreks away!" (1 month)

We’re On Set! 11 Funny Tweets about Movies

Aaaand Action! Today we are on the set of a wonderful summary of really good movies! Famous masterpieces of film history such as Harry Potter, Shrek, Lord of the Rings, and Charlie and the Chocolate …

Honestly the year the clowns tried to kill us was better

Best of Twitter from July 5, 2020

Do you remember the year the Amazon rainforest went up in flames? That was in 2019. Or the Fridays-for-Future demonstrations? That was also in 2019. Or that Notre-Dame was on fire? Also in 2019. The …

I’m sure glad Obama killed Osama bin Laden before Trump had a chance to become friends with him.

Best of Twitter from July 2, 2020

Whether it’s too self-confident children, pro-Trump supporters with no history knowledge, or introducing a person based on their relationship status. Today we searched all over Twitter for the best tweets of the day and found …

Best of Twitter from July 1, 2020

Twitter is always good for new food for thought. Even today, as a Twitter user shows us. Because how quickly would the world recover from COVID-19 if we had a global competition with prices like …

I think the biggest mistake we made is telling Americans that wearing masks is to protect other people. Know your audience!

Best of Twitter from June 28, 2020

We’re going to take you on a little trip through time today. Our journey takes us, among other things, to advertising campaigns from the 90s. The next stop are magazines in the year 2000. Then …

i’m not saying dating apps are a waste of time, i’m just saying a chart of childhood traumas and a screenshot of your political compass would really speed things up here

It’s a Match! 11 Tweets about Dating Apps.

Tinder, Lovoo, and Co. Millions of singles floating around on these platforms looking for flirts and true love. Apparently, all of us can also tell a story in which a Tinder date didn’t go really …

This woman on the news just said, imagine if there was a medication that reduced your chances of getting COVID by 5x. Everyone would want that medication. Well, that's wearing a mask.

Best of Twitter from June 25, 2020

In today’s Daily we serve you easily digestible and stomach-friendly food. On the menu today are for appetizers pizza delivery services. British and American cooking shows as the main course and for dessert, a lawyer’s …

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