BREAKING: new coronavirus cases in the united states trending downward as country runs out of alive citizens to infect

Best of Twitter from August 11, 2020

Breaking News of the day: Ben Shapiro’s Dirty Talk has been released. The number of infections in the U. S. is falling and we have information for you about what Snapchat Memories do to you. …

Me: this meeting could’ve been an email. Also me: (gets an email) Goddammit.

15 Of The Funniest Tweets This Week (#4)

“One more time”. . . We’re singing “One more time!” It’s time again, the best tweets of the week, especially for you, served with icing on the top! Do you want a cookie with that?

Q: What's Whitney Houston's favorite kind of coordination? A: HAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYE

17 Of The Funniest Puns and Anti-Jokes(#3)

We were busy again as the bees! Because what could be better on a Friday, than an XXL pack of new anti-jokes and puns, with which you will be able to show up again in …

Fuck a breakup you ever watched a 12 episode anime in a day & realize it didnt have a second season?

Best of Twitter from August 6, 2020

Some of us are still sitting in the home office and wish to return to normality. Meanwhile in Europe, especially in Spain, there are already signs of a second wave of Covid-19. We’ll see what …

I would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew life was gon be like this

Best of Twitter from August 5, 2020

Today we have another great cinema for you! With us today: Marvel with his 2020 film adaptation. The second part of Bad Moms with the title ‚Pandemic Moms‘ and of course another movie with Donald …

"Whenever I'm mad at you, I go on Goodreads and read one-star reviews of your books." -My daughter

Best of Twitter from August 2, 2020

We hope you all had a wonderful summer weekend. Warm temperatures, lots of sunshine, good food, chilling at a lake or by the sea, maybe a nice barbecue with friends. And what would not be …

I don't like being in a pandemic with y'all. It's like being on silent lunch but we keep getting days added on bc y'all won't shut up.

Best of Twitter from July 30, 2020

Have you ever tried to hand something over to someone while he or she is on the phone? A new Internet trend is currently circulating in which people are randomly given things in their hands …

In public coughing is like the new shitting ur pants

Best of Twitter from July 29, 2020

Work day is finally over! We are halfway through the week, but we should still treat ourselves since the work day is over. Get some beer or wine and let our Daily sweeten your evening.