I don’t think there’s a Punjabi word for ‘purring’ so when our cat purrs, my parents say ‘billi da motor chalda’ (the cat’s motor is revving).

Best of Twitter from June 24, 2020

What is the best excuse not to appear in a Zoom Call with the boss in the morning? What is the difference between Trailer Parks and Tiny Houses? And what makes children so annoying? Find …

Wait, kids on TikTok reserved the empty seats at Trumps rally? The President was publicly trolled by our children. Have an extra drink tonight parents, you’ve done well.

Best of Twitter from June 21, 2020

Today we have everything for you! And when we say everything, we mean everything! Children, dogs, cats, a real bad boy for life, Trump, dystopian novels, a pine cone, and a grandmother. Any other wishes …

Receptionist at the dentist office will look u dead in the eye and ask if ur available 4 months and 13 days from now

Best of Twitter from June 18, 2020

Waiting for an EggMuffin at McDonald’s can be very hard for a cop in America. A video of a policewoman in the USA is about to go viral, in which she reports crying about having …

I just want the confidence of the first prehistoric fish who crawled out of the water like fuck this I’m gonna change my life.

Best of Twitter from June 17, 2020

The age between 20 and 30 is really a bit strange. Some study up to the age of 30, others are already self-employed millionaires at 25. Some have a stable life with a job and …

I'm not saying my kids are dumb but one of them just suggested we play hide and seek in an open field

15 Tweets About Parents and Their Children

Children — We love them but sometimes they just drive us crazy. Whether there are disputes with the siblings, running with pissed-up socks through the house or children who caught their parents doing certain things. …

Today I told a white woman who was about to get into an elevator with us without a mask that she’d have to wait for the next one. I pushed the button & the doors closed over her shocked face & I am carrying this energy with me forever.

Best of Twitter from June 14, 2020

Don’t you all want to do something for a famous personality? You don’t? It doesn’t matter. Donald Trump himself will soon celebrate his birthday and TheTweetOfGod has come up with a concept with which everyone …

if "all lives matter" why won't you wear a mask at the grocery store?

Best of Twitter from June 11, 2020

The times we live in are really crazy. Corona, the Black Lives Matter Movement, Trump. . . all that’s missing is that the last-named wants to delete Twitter. Oh wait, he already wanted to. Well, …

white people will be like “dont wear thrasher if you don’t skate” but don’t understand why they can’t say the n word

Best of Twitter from June 10, 2020

Today we have a completely new concept for a dating app and a tweet from God himself. We also explain the difference between a machine and a machine. Have a lot of fun with today’s …

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