Just heard my mom shouting “DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE ROOMBA IS” and then 2 minutes later, more quietly, “aww poor roomba how’d you get stuck there sweetie”

Meow or Woof?11 funny Tweets about Animals

Dog or cat? This discussion has been going on for eons and will probably never come to an end. Our four-legged friends enrich our lives and often make us think about what is going on …

what's your silliest intrusive thought? mine is Grab the pigeon. grab it with both hands like a burger then hold it over your head and 𝑟𝑢𝑛

Best of Twitter from February 9, 2020

Did everybody have a good weekend? Much action? Maybe went to the cinema again? Right now, Dr. Dolittle, Harley Quinn and Bad Boys are being a nice selection of films being offered. If not, that …

I was just at starbucks on my lunch break and the guy in front of me in line asked the barista if they could crumble up 2 blueberry scones and blend them into his drink. not sure what his story is but i hope he finds peace

Best of Twitter from February 6, 2020

And once again, we got on the hunt for you. Only the best Tweets for our spoiled audience. With us today: A gang of wild animals and some anecdotes of how to survive life with …

Feeling lonely? You need a dog named Family! Coworker: any plans for the weekend? You: just hanging with my Family! Dating profile: tell us about yourself You: my Family means the world to me Boss: reason for vacation request? You: taking my Family to the beach!

Best of Twitter from February 5, 2020

It’s the middle of the week and let’s be honest, we all can’t wait for the weekend to arrive. So why not lighten up your mood in the meanwhile with some doctor-jokes (who doesn’t like …

My vial of insulin is about the same price of a nintendo switch lmfao. Imagine having to buy a NINTENDO SWITCH every month. I only use 1 vial. Some people use SIX!!! SIX NINTENDO SWITCHES EVERY MONTH TIL YOU DIE I don’t know why I’m making this comparison!!! It’s 11PM!!!!!

Best of Twitter from February 2, 2020

The first weekend of February is almost over. Now it’s official, the EU lost a country for the first time ( or as we like to say, lost a few pounds but still looking good) …

These impeachment hearings are like if Sesame Street was trying to figure out if Cookie Monster ate all the cookies

Best of Twitter from January 30, 2020

The coronavirus runs rampant around the world and has already reached Europe. Are you currently joining Team Hysteria or Team I don’t care? Or do you stand between these two teams? On our side, nearly …

my favorite part about being an adult is spending $100 on groceries and then ordering take out

Best of Twitter from January 29, 2020

Half the week is gone, and only two days remain till weekend. To the couples: remember Valentine’s Day is in about two weeks so you better go and get a surprise for your partner. For …

I once got fired from a coffee shop in philly for being trans which is crazy bc I should have been fired for all the money I was stealing

Best of Twitter from January 26, 2020

The weekend is almost over and as you already know, tomorrow we will go back to work again. The weekend was too short not giving us enough time to finish our wine. Many people will …

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