Thinking about the time that I said that I was distantly related to Marie Curie and a guy explained “It’s pronounced Mariah Carey”

Best of Twitter from September 2, 2020

Welcome to the Best of Twitter Spa! With us, you get your very personal all-inclusive feel-good program! We really have everything! Internet massages, children’s program, Coleslaw face masks, tandems bike fitness course and to relax …

ⁿᵉᵗᶠˡⁱˣ ᵈⁱᵃˡᵒᵍᵘᵉ 𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐗 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒

Best of Twitter from August 30, 2020

Summer is coming to an end and slowly but surely we are getting closer to the season of tea-drinking, reading in the bathtub, autumn walks and cozy sofa evenings. Whether alone, with a partner or …

2020 mean girls be like, “OMG, is that the same face mask you wore yesterday?”

Best of Twitter from August 27, 2020

Remember that movie Home Alone? A Christmas classic that appears on TV almost every year. But do you also remember the time this movie was shown? No? Well, the actor played Kevin, Macaulay Culkin, turned …

netflix: are you still watching me: yes but i can't reach the remote so i'm just going to sit here in silent contemplation

Best of Twitter from August 26, 2020

Hey hey! It’s us again! And with us we brought our 10 finds of the day, especially for you! How much does it cost? Nothing, dear! Enjoy our Daily!

Saying that wearing a mask during a pandemic is "living in fear" is like saying that using oven mitts means you're "afraid" of the oven

Best of Twitter from August 23, 2020

Welcome to todays topic. We warmly welcome you to our latest edition of the Daily. For everyone here today: What wisdom teeth have to do with real wisdom. A refreshingly new view of the meaning …

One fun tip is to begin all his tweets with “Mommy, “

Best of Twitter from August 20, 2020

What could be better on a hot day like this, or the next ones coming, than to lie on the beach or on the lake, with an ice cream in your hand or a wonderfully …

We make out like Fireman Sam is a hero but he is an absolute hack. Only about 25 people live in Pontypandy and they are setting fire to something EVERY SINGLE DAY. EDUCATE THEM SAM. GO BEYOND THE HOSE.

13 Funny Tweets About Parents and Their Children

„Mooooom? Daaaaaaad?“ Attention parents! If you hear this call, you should run as fast as you can. Far away. Okay, okay, just kidding, of course, we all love our children, read every wish from their …

4-year-old: You look different. Me: Your mom gave me a haircut. 4: Was she mad at you?

Best of Twitter from August 16, 2020

The weekend is coming to an end and that should be enough to enjoy Sunday night. Can we offer you a little bit of humor with that? You’re welcome, here comes our Daily!

“Add 30” is the only necessary microwave feature everything else is just being dramatic

Best of Twitter from August 13, 2020

In our time, we are bombarded with advertisements. It is becoming increasingly difficult for advertisers to get the attention of their target group. It used to be different a few decades ago. Can you still …

BREAKING: new coronavirus cases in the united states trending downward as country runs out of alive citizens to infect

Best of Twitter from August 11, 2020

Breaking News of the day: Ben Shapiro’s Dirty Talk has been released. The number of infections in the U. S. is falling and we have information for you about what Snapchat Memories do to you. …