Let’s forget for a second that opening schools right now is probably the dumbest thing people ever did after voting for Trump and inventing non-alcoholic beer: For some parents it’s like the fall of the Berlin Wall. They never lost hope, personal freedom was long gone and it felt like a light at the end of the tunnel. A very weak light, so so far away. So let’s focus on that and don’t think about the consequences. Which is basically the motto of 2020. Enjoy!
No thanks, "30 adorable lunch ideas for back to school."
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 5, 2019
Here’s a little song I wrote about kids being home for summer vacation it’s called “OMG WHEN DOES SCHOOL START“ and a one and a two
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 10, 2019
8-year-old: Tomorrow is the first day of school, isn't it?
Me: Yeah. How did you know?
8: You won't stop smiling.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 8, 2018
Welcome back to school kids. Please form an orderly line.
If you don't already have a highly contagious virus, one will be assigned to you.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 16, 2017
I don’t know who needs to hear this but your kids will be back in school soon.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 15, 2019
Bet my neighbors are psyched it's back-to-school season so they can once again witness me jogging down the street in hole-y sweatpants holding a sloshing mug of coffee in one hand and a forgotten lunchbox in the other like let's do this
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) September 7, 2018
Everyone's posting their cute "First Day of School" pics and I'm over here like….#FirstDayOfSchool #highschool #FirstDayOfSchool2019 pic.twitter.com/yNpqSwLHaP
— Bert the Strmtrpr (@BertTheStrmtrpr) August 14, 2019
My son tried to avoid going back to school by running away from me at the bus stop, so I ran in the other direction and now we're both free!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 25, 2019
What wine pairs well with back to school supply shopping?
Asking for a friend.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 10, 2018
Son: I hate school.
Me: I know, but you need to go to school to someday get a job that you'll also hate.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 1, 2016