Best of Twitter from August 21, 2021

It’s Saturday, so we all know what that means: doing something for your health, perhaps going for a small 2k run, going to the local food market to get everything you need for a small …

Someone at my mom’s workplace who has COVID and was on a ventilator for more than a week up until earlier today joined a Zoom meeting from the ICU because her boss told her she needed to start working remotely as soon as she was off the ventilator?? Capitalism is a death cult!

Best of Twitter from August 20, 2021

Oh Friday! A day made for ignoring emails and phone calls and pretending to prepare for the next week while ordering a new bathrobe and making shopping lists. A day to come home, undress, and …

Best of Twitter from August 19, 2021

It’s tearful Thursday again, the ugly little brother of fantastic Friday. There’s a German saying translating to «looking forward to something is the best kind of joy» which we can assure you is more of …

Just saw a job ad for a Latin teacher. Ad specified that successful applicant must be a native speaker of the language. Good luck with that.

Best of Twitter from August 18, 2021

It’s Wednesday again and you all know what that means. No, we don’t mean drinking on workdays this time. But take yourself some shots if you want to. What we really mean is the big …

Nursing school doesn't prepare you for the number of elderly patients who will casually confess to decades-old murders.

Best of Twitter from August 17, 2021

Good evening, dear Monday survivors. Once again we hold the hope that our little evening get-togethers are the cherry on top of your cake. But deep inside we know that if you had any cake …

adulthood is weird cuz now im looking at old people like u did this for 50 years? im ready to give up

Best of Twitter from August 16, 2021

Congratulations! You survived the first half of August. That’s it for the good news. Yeah, right. It’s Monday again! If you saw people smiling today, don’t trust them. Chances are that demons killed them, ripped …

I just told my kid “the world is yours” & he said “i don’t want it” and i HAD to laugh cause baby at this point i don’t either 😂

Best of Twitter from August 15, 2021

Okay, people, what did go wrong? Weren’t we specific? Didn’t we explicitly tell you to take your pair of nail scissors to dig a deep hole in the basement, tear a calendar into 77,000 pieces …

Best of Twitter from August 14, 2021

So it’s Saturday. Again. It feels like there’s a repeating pattern going on every seven days, but perhaps that’s just us. Anyway, did you know that Saturday is old Aramaic and means «the day you …

Today I got the results of my vaccine response from my oncologist. Anything over 400 is great. 250 is okay. Mine was 16. They consider it “background noise.” So just another friendly reminder that you, a healthy person, getting the vaccine can potentially save my life!

Best of Twitter from August 13, 2021

Oh beautiful, beautiful Friday. Someone here who thinks 48 hours are more than enough to not burst into tears at the thought of Monday? No! But isn’t it a good feeling to have proven yourself …

Best of Twitter from August 12, 2021

Hello, friends of the early weekend and other pleasant surprises. And hello to the weirdos who actually like their work, how is it to be blessed while living among us ordinary peasants? So only half …