Ladies and gentlemen! Gather! Gather for the Sunday meeting in the name of humour and wit. Enjoy 10 selected Twitter gems and let yourself be inspired. We wish you a lot of fun!
Just because we got our vaccines doesn’t mean we can rouge our knees and roll our stockings down.
— Bebe Neuwirth (@BebeNeuwirth) April 10, 2021
my vaccine lady held out the little Moderna vial to me like a sommelier would show you a wine bottle and i sort of panicked and said "yes perfect thank you" like a fucking idiot
— Law Boy, Esq. (@The_Law_Boy) April 11, 2021
If you use two or more sugars in your coffee I’m pretty sure you don’t like coffee
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) April 10, 2021
Hearing a song on the radio unexpectedly always sounds better than choosing it on purpose from your library.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) April 10, 2021
David Attenborough [whispering]:
“The dual-finned Canadian land shark surfaces briefly, scouting the area for signs of potential prey.” pic.twitter.com/5XYVieXOX2
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) April 10, 2021
You really have to respect the versatility of mint. Good in cocktails, chocolate, with meat, in ice cream, as tea. Just at home in a salad as it is in a cigarette. A whole genre of sweets that are just called “mints”. And it’s the only mainstream toothpaste flavour. Insane herb.
— Eleanor Margolis (@EleanorMargolis) April 10, 2021
The good thing about Science is that it’s true, whether or not you believe in it.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 11, 2021
Reached that age where everything I think happened 2-3 years ago really happened in 2003.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 10, 2021
NYC hospitals keep calling me like “Heyy you owe us like $11,000” and I’m just like “….. ok” lol
— Isabelle Tradjani (@ZeroSuitCamus) April 10, 2021
Fuck it. This is the year we’re saving everything to the desktop
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) April 11, 2021