Is there actually somebody who still have normal working hours in their home office? Not being watched by the boss or colleagues all day long has its advantages. Distraction at the workplace, formally known as Netflix, is no longer sanctioned and breaks at the coffee machine can be extended to lunchtime breaks. Anyway, just in time for the end of the day, the 10 best tweets of the day!
#1:
credit card reader: dont even think about taking out that card yet
me: ok
credit card reader: get ur card out of me right fucking now or so help me god cant u see ur holding the entire line up u pathetic scum
me: ok sorry
— thomas (@thombodytolove) April 14, 2020
#2:
I saw an online tutorial about how to make masks from old clothes, so I cut up this old pair of shorts! I had to hand sew it, and it came out too small, but it’s not bad for a first try! What do you think? pic.twitter.com/ZFvFmh97xz
— 𝔞𝔡𝔞𝔪 𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔰 (@moby_dickhead) April 15, 2020
#3:
Billy Joel: it’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in
Me: sounds like a lovely place
Billy Joel: there’s an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin
Me: i have changed my mind
— not brendan (@crocodilethumbs) April 14, 2020
#4:
Every restaurant has a drive-thru if you drink enough
— Eternal Samnation (@portmanteauface) April 14, 2020
#5:
Trying to imagine people going around after 9/11 saying "You know, the flu kills 60,000 a people a year so not sure what the big deal is here!" and how the people *now* making that same argument would have received it then.
— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) April 15, 2020
#6:
I hate when an ex reaches out but it’s not one of the important ones
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) April 14, 2020
#7:
a zucchini is a bikini you wear to the zoo sorry y’all i’m out of content
— ✨V✨ (@coolauntV) April 15, 2020
#8:
Cleaning the house while everyone is home is like brushing your teeth while eating oreos.
— Unapologeticmom (@Dontsassme82) April 16, 2020
#9:
Everyone's hair gonna look like the 4th Harry Potter movie when quarantines over pic.twitter.com/grqb2b1N6f
— Pats A' Tweetin (@PatsATweetin) April 15, 2020
#10:
I miss slogans from like 1950 before anyone learned anything about marketing. It would just be like «Johnson Creamed Ice: It Has That Flavor!™»
— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) April 14, 2020
