Lockdown can make people weird. Weaker minds would say even insane. My sock puppets on the other hand think otherwise. Especially Ernie has a very strong opinion about self isolation and the spider in my bathroom agrees. So I had no choice but to let them choose those Tweets and HEY, WHAT KIND OF JACKET IS THAT, WHO CALLED YOU, ERNIE, HELP!
(enjoy our Daily. Ernie says so.)
#1:
i’m baby pic.twitter.com/zB0Uqh8WKr
— buns iverson (@FranziaMom) April 16, 2020
#2:
we keep calling it "miss rona" but let's be honest the coronavirus is definitely a man
– bothers u if u get within 6 feet of it
– makes going to bars unappealing
– ruins everything and expects u to fix it yourself
– completely fucked up the government
– raises pornhub traffic— mate (@AlwaysAButt) April 16, 2020
#3:
My husband has been trying to explain bitcoin to me for 3 straight days and if this doesn’t end our marriage nothing can.
— Rainbow Kingdom (@aissalanis) April 17, 2020
#4:
ppl are constantly asking me “why do you delete tweets?”
i’m gonna keep it real with u … not the biggest fan of my thoughts— poodie the witness (@P00DI3PI3) April 16, 2020
#5:
I hope I don’t contract Covid-19. But, if I do I hope it’s from something cool like delivered chicken wings and I totally eat that bitch. Lord, please don’t let me go down from picking my nose after checking the mail.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) April 17, 2020
#6:
must be an incredibly bad time for the people who secretly live in a stranger’s walls
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 16, 2020
#7:
calling today “national horny day” is an insult to those of us who keep the torch of horniness burning 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, regardless of inclement weather or bank holidays
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) April 16, 2020
#8:
Help wanted – Must be able to stand guard of a fridge everynight between the hours of 9pm-6am. Combat experience is required.
— Kerry 🌺 (@whatbabytalk) April 17, 2020
#9:
I was just informed that now is not a good time to learn to play bagpipes.
— Uncle Jeff (@PickleRudd) April 17, 2020
#10:
Me to my family at the end of quarantine pic.twitter.com/SWEruC3cDR
— 𝚂𝚑𝚎 𝕸𝕮 (@sheroCyrxs) April 16, 2020
