Congratulations to everyone who didn’t get pranked by our little story on yesterday’s April Fools› Day and found their way back to us! The rest of you are probably out there somewhere, either looking for the Ever Given cargo ship that supposedly got stuck again, or standing by the window with binoculars so as not to miss the Easter Bunny. In any case, there is only one thing you should really care not to miss: our jewels of the day – definitely without ships or rabbits! Enjoy!
My 4 year old, listening to my heart beat with his toy stethoscope, says, «I have bad news for you. I’m pretty sure there are a ton of bats in there.»
— Jaime Berry (@jaime_berry3) March 24, 2021
The neighbours just put the house up for sale. Couldn’t resist checking it out on Zoopla.
That’s our bloody cat. pic.twitter.com/w4YnxNZOLq
— Michael Hubank (@generoom) March 28, 2021
My mother is telling EVERYONE that I am «practically a doctor» and I «just need to finish one paper.»
Reader, that paper is my dissertation.
— Danielle Boyce (@RyansMom2) March 31, 2021
i be like “nah my parents didn’t pass on any weird habits to me” then show up to the airport 5 hrs early
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) April 1, 2021
[honeymoon in paris]
her: look there’s the eiffel tower
me: I thought you said you’d never been here before
— john (@mrjohndarby) April 1, 2021
on what planet is this “plus sized” pic.twitter.com/yKxhdEjAvs
— moon (@SWlTCHPOSlTIONS) March 25, 2021
Johnson & Johnson used their experience making 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner to design their vaccine.
— Sridhar Ramesh (@RadishHarmers) March 31, 2021
#8: Click on the Picture!
Saw this wildly insecure facebook post and then I saw this comment on it and I can’t believe I never encountered the word «homochondriac» before. pic.twitter.com/mRmrwUhY0W
— David Ganssle (@doggans) March 31, 2021
Bro people look down on drug addicts while they’re addicted to their phone, food, a person and have a drinking problem. We’re all dabbling in escapism, yours is just more socially acceptable
— . (@ChloeFlossie) March 31, 2021
The fact that my 75 year-old Asian mom has two shots of the Moderna vaccine in her arm makes me want to cry. The fact that my 75 year-old Asian mom no longer feels safe walking down the street by herself also makes me want to cry. #America
— alexwagner (@alexwagner) March 31, 2021