It is Friday, yippie, and just like every week we are forced to plan a weekend full of activities and overdue errands – so that they can be postponed for another weekend, of course. But where do we start? Do we prefer not to get rid of the boxes next to the door, or do we start by not cleaning the windows, or should our first task be not to begin with the sports program we decided to start? You know what, the best thing to do is to decide not to make up your mind right away. In the meantime, we have something for you, today’s best tweets. Enjoy your weekend!
A hobby of mine is finding ridiculous items for sale at Nordstrom’s. This might be my best find yet. pic.twitter.com/racNtYs0jB
— Lexi Brown, PhD (@lexilafleur) April 21, 2021
College Counselor: “Anything you want me to know to help you think of colleges that might be a fit?”
My daughter: “No open carry States!!”
— Maya Wiley (@mayawiley) April 22, 2021
The best part of playing Monopoly is the drugs you get at the ER after the fight
— ADHDean (@ADHDeanASL) April 23, 2021
i think like all mothers, all earth probably wants on her day is for everyone to clean their shit up and stop leaving all the damn lights on
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 22, 2021
Rage Against the Machine never specified what type of machine they were furious with but I reckon it was probably a printer.
— John Moynes (@JohnMoynes) April 21, 2021
I don’t think we’re fully appreciating not having to hear what Trump is thinking right now
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) April 20, 2021
If my son calls me “bruh” one more time, so help me god, I’ll grow out my mustache.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 22, 2021
WRITER TIP: If you’re stuck on a scene, try giving up. There are enough writers.
— David Gross (@davidgrossTV) April 20, 2021
I use a wheelchair. When I was in college, there was a bomb threat. I was on the second floor of a building and didn’t want to use the elevator because of the “In case of emergency use stairs” sign. Thank you to the professor who carried me out of the building.
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) April 22, 2021
my wife asked me “what sounds good for dinner?” so I said “I dunno, what sounds good to u?” and she responded “I’m up for whatever” and now it’s been a week and we’re slowly dying of hunger
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) April 22, 2021