It’s Saturday, most of us have a long weekend ahead of us, but you can’t even perform a nice, relaxing witchcraft ritual, because you have to respect other strange belief systems. Even if they involve someone coming back from the dead, which of course you celebrate with, well: chocolate eggs. Brought by a giant bunny. You can’t make those things up, but good news, you can drink them away. While reading some really funny Tweets, so Happy Easter and have fun!
#1:
Caught my girlfriend having sex with an abstract artist. He said "it's not what it looks like"
— Dr Pessimus Prime – advocate for long-arm T rex (@BigJDubz) April 2, 2021
#2:
[last supper]
jesus: one of you is going to betray me.
judas: ok who told him
jesus: april f- wait what
— caitlin (@carboncaitlin) April 1, 2021
#3:
Summer 2021 pic.twitter.com/pdTY28fB7S
— ✨V✨ (@coolauntV) April 2, 2021
#4:
I used to imagine my kids would be doctors or astronauts but at this point "not an arsonist" is looking like a stretch
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) March 31, 2021
#5:
When my kid was 6 he told his teacher to call him Big Casino. His teacher called and asked if we knew why. I told her to take it up with Big Casino.
— Adam (Severedthumb) (@thumbhook) April 2, 2021
#6:
[shampoo bottle falls in the bath]
all other bottles: WE ARE COMING FOR YOU, BROTHER
— Ella Zee 🌈👑 (@EllaZee5) March 30, 2021
#7:
imagine being dead for 3 days and then having to move a boulder to go outside. i would lay back down
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) April 2, 2021
#8:
I love when a guy I hooked up with 3 years ago starts liking my posts again to let me know he's single now
— ashley ray (@theeashleyray) April 1, 2021
#9:
JESUS: *breaks bread* This is my body.
JESUS: *pours wine* This is my blood.
JESUS: *hands out baskets* Now go find my eggs!
— Ian Dukes Climate Change Accepter (@ianpauldukes) April 2, 2021
#10:
Jeepers has a rare genetic sunlight sensitive eye condition and the vet told me to buy these …my life is so stupid pic.twitter.com/tBkLMXNTkF
— April “Pinkie” Davis (@PinkieToons) April 1, 2021
