We hope you all have a great Saturday, after Trump announced to single-handedly ban TikTok this weekend. After his last feud with Twitter, grab your life jackets, save your favourite tweets, perhaps we’re next. So enjoy our dailies as long as you can, they may be collectibles soon! Have fun.
them: you look so stupid in that mask, bunch of sheep, i can’t believe-
surgeon: get the anesthesiologist back in here
— Indy ❄️ (@IndecisiveJones) July 29, 2020
my boyfriend, who doesn’t realise he’s my boyfriend, just had the audacity to not like my selfie
— Cat Rosé (@WinningByARose) July 29, 2020
I just want to be rich enough to have a treadmill in my room to hang my clothes on, instead of having to actually use my closet like some peasant.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) July 29, 2020
If you also bump into furniture and apologize to it, you can be in our secret society.
— richie (@theregoesrichie) July 28, 2020
on my way to solve a murder mystery in the english countryside pic.twitter.com/rKazaDEo6w
— the moon’s wife (@lilycirque) July 30, 2020
Me: *lovingly stroking a picture of 18 yr old me and remembering I used to sleep in my contacts back then* you crazy son of a bitch, you
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) August 1, 2020
Was she in a library? pic.twitter.com/x0qswwA0E0
— Hi, it's Abby. Yep. (@abbycohenwl) August 1, 2020
hot air balloon pilot: uh oh how are we low on helium already?
me: ʸᵉᵃʰ ʷʰᵒ ᵈⁱᵈ ᵗʰⁱˢ
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) July 31, 2020
her: so what do u do
me: [remembering girls like bad boys] i sell drugs
her: are u serious??
me: [remembering girls like sensitive guys] to kids in need
— cory (@harvardgraduat) July 31, 2020
the human body is just amazing like how cool is it that I can fit way more food in my mouth when I’m sad
— someweirdpointlessgirl. (@minkpinkustink) July 30, 2020