Can you imagine a UNO table in a casino? I honestly don’t know if I will be clearing tables or throwing my drink at people who decided to +4 me. I mean UNO is a family game, but with money, on the table, you are about to get skipped and reversed into a +4. Or maybe I’ll be getting kicked out of every casino in Las Vegas, or just prohibited from bringing drinks to the table. But we will just have to wait and see. We hope you enjoy today’s Daily!
cop: are u high
me: hello, am i what
— cory (@harvardgraduat) August 12, 2020
Normal people: I left my sunglasses in the car.
Jeep Owners: I Jeeped my Jeepgoggles in the Jeep™
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) August 12, 2020
son: theres a monster in my closet
me: oh sweetie, there’s no such thing as monsters. The real monsters are hidden among us, members of the community. Even your own family can cause unspeakable psychological damage.
me: Well goodnight
— human aaron (@humanaaron) August 11, 2020
her: what are u into
me: trying my best
— james (@videojames_) August 12, 2020
why every female rapper gotta be a role model to preschool age girls???? FUCK THEM KIDS
— deraa 🦦 (@unclederaa) August 11, 2020
I hate this pandemic, if I wanted to waste my early 30s I would have gotten married and had kids.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) August 11, 2020
The casino need a UNO table …
— Yess Jamel (@YessJamel) August 10, 2020
People are like “are you okay? I saw your tweet” and they didn’t even like the tweet
— Parker (@HolyParkamoly) August 12, 2020
*me fully aware that JFC stands for jesus fucking christ*
my brain: john f cennedy
— G (@ripgiannaa) August 11, 2020
Trump/Pence 2020: You are going to jail.
Biden/Harris 2020: We hear you, we see you, we stand with you, and you are going to jail.
— Mikeyoke (@karaokecomputer) August 11, 2020