Hello, friends of the early weekend and other pleasant surprises. And hello to the weirdos who actually like their work, how is it to be blessed while living among us ordinary peasants? So only half a day more in the caves of Moria (or as we like to call it «the office») until the weekend raises its wonderful yet short head. Think about the possibilities! You can spend two days with your loved ones, enjoying the time they still are in fact loved ones and not the offspring living in your garage two years after finishing college, still trying to find themselves. Or take advantage of the fact that cinemas are open again for a short period of time, until (TOTALLY OUT OF NOWHERE) the next cluster of the pandemic hits because people are already ignoring basic hygiene concepts again. Or you can take a walk into the strange forest that appeared last Walpurgis Night, letting yourself consume by the heavy mist which only you can see, since a witch cursed your bloodline a century ago, because your ancestors drove over the wrong cat with their wagon. But before you do the latter, have a look at the gems we found for you. Totally not in the mist of a magic forest, we promise. Enjoy!
#1: So who said communism is bad?
Under communism food websites will get straight to the recipe
— shantilly 🍇🌻 (@shantilly_t) August 10, 2021
#2: Perhaps something where you worship racoons?
why no one creating new religions i feel like this a really good time for a shift
— bryce (@pollen196) August 10, 2021
#3: ART. THIS IS ART!
Am I a fucking joke to you, Carol? pic.twitter.com/FUOKFTxC27
— Julicorn 🦄 (@ChicksRule) August 10, 2021
#4: Let’s be fair, it happened to the best of us
i once tried to be slick and do that whole "watch a horror movie & comfort her" thing with my first girlfriend. we watched the new chucky movie. i screamed louder than she did and accidentally clocked her in the face with my flailing arms the second that little fucker popped out
— kristofer thomas (@kristoferthomas) August 11, 2021
#5: For real friends, you keep a shit box in the house
when somebody tells me they have a cat i assume they need companionship more than they need to not have a box of shit in the house
— “scotty” (@isitscotty) August 10, 2021
#6: Pest or cholera, dear friends. Let’s talk about communism again?
can’t believe the only political options in america are “we have to catch and spread a deadly virus to defeat the satanic pedophile elite” or “we spent 9 months trying to make the bus $5 cheaper, and we did not succeed 👍”
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) August 10, 2021
#7: You really can’t fix stupid
i was a vaccine checker tonight at my venue and i swear to god i’m not fucking with you, one couple came up to me and asked “vaccine for what”…… WHAT DO YOU MEAN VACCINE FOR WHAT
— sarah (@sarahrxdriguez) August 11, 2021
#8: Never quit on chasing your dreams
I hope in my next life I come back as a McChicken so men will look at me lovingly and also settle for me out of desperation
— McErin☘ (@colleen_eileen) August 11, 2021
#9: The holy trinity
Find you a man who can do all three pic.twitter.com/f0N6NJKzcU
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) August 10, 2021
#10: It’s basically an out of body experience
very confusing when i'm driving and i see someone in the same car as me. what the fuck am i doing over there
— jame (@videojame_) August 10, 2021
And since summer break is almost over, click here to keep you calm: