Okay, people, what did go wrong? Weren’t we specific? Didn’t we explicitly tell you to take your pair of nail scissors to dig a deep hole in the basement, tear a calendar into 77,000 pieces with your teeth and conjure up your favorite dementor at the sound of «I don’t like Mondays»? Sorry to break the news, but once again you failed. Well, no need to cry, little Harry, you’ll get another chance next week. So since we have the joy of spending another seven days together, let’s have some fun with our Tweets of the day. Enjoy!
#1: True heroes still exist
shout out to the dude who replied to my craigslist ad for a pair of speakers within 12 hours of my listing them, came over first thing this morning, had me blast “back in black” on them while he air drummed, and said, “i’ve heard everything i need to hear; i’ll take em.”
— dylan (@shebcosounds) August 13, 2021
#2: Please give it to Jim Carrey
At this point what else could really happen, go ahead and put the mask on https://t.co/aVaAGD0IfD
— szop gotowy na dobrą zabawę (@TrashPandaJedi) August 12, 2021
#3: How did we get to this point again?
I have worked 64 hours in 5 days. I work 23 tomorrow and 10 Sunday. We don’t have enough nurses to care for the amount of people we have. I’m completely burned out but can’t quit. These people need me. I just got married and have seen my husband for 4 hours since August 1st.
— FloridaDem (@FloridaDem2) August 14, 2021
#4: So … they don’t?
ngl i thought vampires sucked blood through their pointy teeth. like teeth straws. im an idiot
— jame (@videojame_) August 14, 2021
#5: Someone is getting a little too excited
Girlfriend’s away for the weekend, you know what that means! Time to put the cast iron pan in the dishwasher
— ♥mark magark♥ (@markedly) August 12, 2021
#6: Sorry, this should have a trigger warning
my kids didn’t want me to buy this antique doll for their room. i have no idea why. pic.twitter.com/YGwTJdDZvJ
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 13, 2021
#7: We shouldn’t laugh this hard
I just told my kid “the world is yours” & he said “i don’t want it” and i HAD to laugh cause baby at this point i don’t either 😂
— JADA WADA (@jadanicolewrld) August 13, 2021
#8: He was just following her orders
My bf broke up w me in the car and his daughter in the back seat gonna go “yesssss”
— Julz (@__JULZY__) August 13, 2021
#9: Oh please …
“why don’t people trust scientists and follow the rules?” i say as i shove a q-tip 2 inches into my ear canal
— cass city (@HeavenlyGrandpa) August 13, 2021
#10: Try the new beer cappuccino!
on my lunch break, enjoying a very refreshing pint with the lads pic.twitter.com/JG6DtU74D1
— out of context bailey moon (@Baileymoon15) August 13, 2021
You wan’t more Super Hero content? Coming right up:
