Oh, Lord. Don’t say anything. No, seriously. Don’t say anything! We all have the same feelings about this. Keep calm und proceed to the nearest exit. This is not the day we were looking for. Monday is canceled. I repeat. Monday is canceled! While we wait for a new and less embarrassing day, here are 10 topweets for your pleasure.
me, respecting everyone
quarantine on insta pic.twitter.com/hpdwCfuxDd
— (@iatemuggles) August 13, 2020
one time a girl said "u dropped this pen". i was like. that is clearly not my pen. it's red. "ya u did" she shoved it into my hands. ok weirdo. then when i looked at it there was a note inside with her phone number. my question is this: how does anyone date men. we are so dumb
— thomas (@perfectsweeties) August 14, 2020
2016: Sure Trump is bad,but how much damage can he do in four years?
2020: If everybody buys enough stamps, Democracy will survive long enough to reach a vaccine for this deadly virus and we can see a movie again.
— Amir (@blumenfeld) August 14, 2020
Still no cancer meds in the mail today. 11 days late. 35k dollars.
I really want to thank all the 2016 protest voters. This is what you wanted right?
— brett irwin (@brettirwin15) August 14, 2020
First jump!! 😍🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆 pic.twitter.com/PBhvRFRuSp
— Akki (@akkitwts) August 15, 2020
The size of the gates in Jurassic Park suggests they were always planning on letting the dinosaurs out.
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) August 17, 2020
OMG IT'S HER BIRTHDAY pic.twitter.com/Wp6N9LdRCL
— eʀɪᴄᴋᴀ escobar (@Erickajamon) August 13, 2020
Why does BLM have to answer for looters but the NRA doesn’t have to answer for school shooters
— mikayla🖤 (@mikkymxrie) August 14, 2020
Anxiety is fun because you get to be nervous for things you’ve totally done before
— Kate (@Kateness8) August 16, 2020
you find Waldo in a coffin on page 11. the next page says "Part 2: Life Goes On." you can't seem to find him in the rest of the book. you go back to the beginning but he's not there either. you start to cry. you get hugged from behind. it's Waldo
— phil (@PhilJamesson) August 15, 2020