Hooray, it’s Wednesday! You already survived half of the week without killing anyone or rubbing and crying on the floor like a little princess. At least, we hope so. Yes, there are two more days of work, but they will be gone as fast as you can pronounce pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. In the meantime, here are our 10 toptweets for today.
To students starting school today,
Please be nice to your teachers. My dad is 53 years old, and not a whiz w technology. He’s called me EVERY day, attempting to practice because he’s so nervous and wants what’s best for his students.
Please be patient with them. They’re trying.
— ny (@nyla_danae) August 17, 2020
Buying a house is like "we have no way of knowing you'll pay back this mortgage of £500 a month"
"I've been paying my landlord £1000 a month"
"Why can't you save up £25000 to reassure us you can afford £500"
"Because I've been paying my landlord £1000 a month"
— Eleanor Mason (@eleanormtweets) August 17, 2020
murderer: any last words
me: am i annoying be honest :/
— follow me if u sad (@gIocki) August 17, 2020
my body is NOT a temple it’s a STORAGE UNIT for my REGRETS
— Ely Kreimendollface (@ElyKreimendahl) August 17, 2020
Mentally I am here pic.twitter.com/VBaMzLwmXv
— Mike (@MikeG7_) August 18, 2020
don't forget finance people are at home plugging 5-6 numbers into an excel sheet every day, and calling that working from home
— Gråçë (@garrcie) August 18, 2020
Me as a parent trying to hide my snacks from the unemployed lazy people in my house. pic.twitter.com/s3Jq73zjEB
— senia 🍃 (@drawntosenia) August 17, 2020
dates with no food are pretty much meetings…and we can do that via email. don’t insult me or my time like that beloved.
— Put It Down Crackhead! 👑🐐🧃⚡️ (@JRocIsMajor_) August 17, 2020
#9: Tweet deleted
The constant struggle between "I should probably be more informed about current events" and "I would like to be a functional human being with at least a vague will to live"
— it's mo! (@mo_ranyart) August 17, 2020
Before pandemic: I'm not sure I like birds.
During pandemic: [palms pressed to window] BIRDS.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) August 17, 2020