Summer is almost over and nineteen Mondays to go this year, including this one. 2020 sucked so hard, it feels like we have been five years at work without any holidays. In other words: It’s just another Monday in an endless time loop. Anyone else needs a hug? So sit down and enjoy our gems for today.
“what do ur tattoos mean”
they mean i look cool
— eleven says fck 12 (@elevenpyres) August 22, 2020
DATING: can’t wait to see you again
MARRIAGE: part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 21, 2020
Oh, so you’re a human?
name three pictures with traffic lights in them
— joi♡ (@gamejoiadvance) August 22, 2020
One night in college, my roommate got super drunk pretty quickly and ended up getting sick. We handed her a trashcan, with trash already in it. She puked a few times and started crying, and then looked in the can and yelled, OMG I THREW UP A FORK?!
— Girl Who Came to Stay (@Mom_Overboard) August 16, 2020
We pretend cats are jerks when really they’re just good at putting up boundaries.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) August 22, 2020
Lou Bega’s girlfriend Monica listening to Mambo No. 5 for the first time pic.twitter.com/npx7vmWYtQ
— Joeley Pulver (@joeleybean) August 21, 2020
“Capitalism breeds innovation”
— ʏᴇᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟɪᴛᴇ (@whimsical_turd) August 23, 2020
a zoom classroom must be really good for staring wistfully at your crush the entire duration of the class and going virtually unnoticed by both said crush and teacher
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) August 21, 2020
me: *on the phone* hey is it cool if i crash at your place?
friend: yeah no worries
[car drives straight through their wall]
me: thanks man
— suki (@desukidesu) August 23, 2020
ME: Why can’t I sleep?
CUP OF COFFEE FROM 4 PM: Soooo I put together a list of everyone who might be mad at you. Let's start with 8th grade.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) August 23, 2020