Saturday! Time to meet friends, having a good time, enjoying the last days of summer. I’m just kidding, there’s still Covid-19, the world is an awful place and the best bet is to stay at home, open a bottle of wine and read a nice book. Fahrenheit 451 comes to mind, or 1984. Something fun and relaxing. Enjoy!
#1:
My son texted me that he’d forgotten his favorite beer mug and asked if I’d email it to him. Naturally, I knew he meant to say mail, but don’t think for a second that stopped me from emailing him a picture of said mug.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) August 29, 2020
#2:
Guys remain 12 until they’re 16. Then they’re 16 until they’re 35, at which point they turn 24.
— ❤️Jar Jar Drinks🤙 (@HushJared) August 28, 2020
#3:
cats are cool cause they’re little murder machines that cartoon run for their lives when a drop of water gets on them
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) August 28, 2020
#4:
I want a hardcore personal trainer but for eating, really getting up in my face like "IS THIS A CHEESE FON-DO OR A CHEESE FON-DON'T"
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) August 28, 2020
#5:
Me: [at the gym] arm or leg day?
Octopus: [crying] i’m not sure
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 28, 2020
#6:
we don’t usually get to see this much footage of a cult until the documentary comes out.
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) August 28, 2020
#7:
shipmate: captain watch out! we're headed straight for the light house
captain, who is a moth: fuck ya we are
— cory (@harvardgraduat) August 28, 2020
#8:
Sometimes I wonder how many times Wolverine has hurt himself sneezing
— Julicorn 🦄 (@ChicksRule) August 28, 2020
#9:
British driving instructor: quite right, quite right. Now quite left.
— An English Human (@English_Channel) August 28, 2020
#10:
caveman: I’ve invented the wheel!
hamster: finally!!!
— Sue Corvette 🇨🇦 (@suecorvette) August 28, 2020
