Let’s face it, summer is gone, gone like a college girl’s virginity after her first spring break. From now on we have only 17 Mondays to go until Christmas Eve shows up. Doesn’t sound very much, does it? In fact 2020 feels like someone speeded up the playback by 1,5 times like.a YouTube tutorial. Luckily, there is a Pause-Button, Which while you’re reading this, was already pressed for you to enjoy our gems of the day.
We reported over 100,000 tests yesterday. Highest number to date.
Our infection rate remains under 1%.
More tests does not equal more cases. And masks work.
— Andrew Cuomo (@NYGovCuomo) August 30, 2020
Self care is canceled. We’re doing acid and yelling at the moon naked
— 𝔄𝔫𝔤𝔦𝔢🦋 (@angiegxox) August 28, 2020
i miss goin to parties wit no data standin in da corner lookin at my settings like damn dis shit go crazy
— Corn 🌟 (@snyyred) August 29, 2020
the only thing more embarrassing than my browser history is my calculator history
— Living Morganism 🌱 (@ok_girlfriend) August 30, 2020
Crazy maw only missed it by 14 year… could’ve been me 😰 pic.twitter.com/FxYPmfoHKh
— Ashley (@yelhsaashton) August 30, 2020
being a baby's like being blacked out. you dont remember anything, but people show you pictures like "that was you. you threw up right after this”
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) August 30, 2020
If you get bitten by a shark, bite it back. You’ll still probably die but the shark will be like “lol what”
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) August 30, 2020
even if I get a wild rabbit disease I will die happy pic.twitter.com/ywGupDcZjV
— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) August 30, 2020
the first three words u see are gonna define your 2021 pic.twitter.com/NocenQ9F7N
— (@ghovstin) August 29, 2020
britain: *creates vaccine*
america: finally, thank you, just hand it-
britain: [dumps it in the ocean] oops guess it’s joining the tea huh
— suki (@desukidesu) August 29, 2020