Hi, everyone. It’s Sunday evening, and like every week, this is the perfect moment to discuss how to numb the inevitable thought of Monday in the best way possible. Is it alcohol, an old episode of Boston Legal, or another soul-decomposing meeting with the in-laws? Whatever is your chosen strategy to postpone Monday, we want to add something to the mix. How about some very normal people, a cat up for a fight and the witch living in all of us. Please have fun with today’s best tweets!
#1: smh
i remember my momma cut her boyfriend off cause he text “smh” while they was arguing.. i said mom why you do that.. she said “i don’t know who he calling a sorry monkey hoe.. cause it ain’t me” I said wow and walked off.. i ain’t correct her cause i ain’t like buddy any way ..
— it’sQCofcourse. (@qcinc_) August 7, 2021
#2: Any thoughts on this?
«being bilingual is a privilege» i’d say privilege is being a native english speaker who doesn’t have to learn another language to get a job because the world caters to you
— osmanthus flavored milf (@paratinate) August 6, 2021
#3: So many layers …
Talked with a cop outside the grocery. She said shoplifting of food has gone up, and I said «That’s sad—so many people have gotten desperate during the pandemic.» And she said «Well it’s mostly homeless people; I haven’t caught many normal people stealing»
…
— Jack Herrera (@jherrerx) August 6, 2021
#4: Well okay
Finally convinced my cousin to get the damn vaccine after explaining to him that he can’t smoke if he caught COVID, because it’ll mess with his respiratory system. Once again, cannabis saves lives.
— AshleyStevens (@The_Acumen) August 8, 2021
#5: Take a seat and think about this
The urban-design war on homeless folks hasn’t actually reduced homelessness, but it’s sure made public spaces miserable for everyone else. https://t.co/KAyTbmt4G6
— Matt Ford (@fordm) August 6, 2021
#6: Criminal Intent
My cat had been housebound for two weeks after beating up another cat in that cat’s house. I let her out yesterday just to see if she was ready to be a law abiding citizen. She went straight to go beat up that cat again 🙃 she’s back inside indefinitely
— naledi (@naledimashishi) August 6, 2021
#7: Queen
When Allyson Felix decided to start a family in 2018, Nike offered a contract that was 70% less & had no guarantees if her performance declined due to pregnancy.
So she left Nike, signed a deal with Athleta, has a 2-year-old daughter & just won her 10th Olympic medal.
Legend 🙏 pic.twitter.com/Colcr91A7R
— Joe Pompliano (@JoePompliano) August 6, 2021
#8: Keep your phone ready
Kinda weird that we’re all gonna experience climate change as a series of short, apocalyptic videos until eventually it’s your phone that’s recording
— joe public (sector) (@shocks) August 7, 2021
#9: Tell me you’re old without telling me you’re old
two teen girls asked me to take a pic of them & i said sure. then they handed me a disposable camera & then tried to show me how to use it. do not cite the deep magic to me witch. i was there when it was written
— sarah thee tonin 💫 (@sarahndipity18) August 7, 2021
#10: Monday face
How is life going 😅 #cats pic.twitter.com/ZuS00DnniN
— missenell (@missenell) August 7, 2021
If you need further distraction check out this post:
