Hell no! Not you again, Monday. Our weekend was disappointing enough and yes we’re talking about Oompa Loompa’s second Impeachment and this crazy capitalist abomination called Valentine’s Day. To be fair, it could be far worse. We could be right in the middle of a worldwide pandem… oh wait. Okay, this introduction has suddenly come to a dead end. Help! So forget what you just read and focus on what’s really important right now: Our 10 gems for today. Enjoy!
#1:
the chances of being killed by a giraffe are low but never zero pic.twitter.com/1Jq6vqzt2W
— Cozy (@ReaICosy) February 14, 2021
#2:
isnt it crazy how tea can smell like so much but taste like so little
— bridget!!!!! (@bridgetmfoley) February 12, 2021
#3:
this is true love pic.twitter.com/58IHo7IdsP
— Tommy Siegel (@TommySiegel) February 14, 2021
#4:
they needa distribute the vaccine the same way apple did us with that U2 album
— bell shooks (@fridahalo) February 13, 2021
#5:
the "millennials vs gen z" shit is so weird and desperate. you are 35 years old. it doesn't matter if 17 year olds think your jeans are cool.
— 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗯 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗼𝗻 (@calebsaysthings) February 15, 2021
#6:
paying $23 for a lukewarm hamburger delivered by a guy who has never had health insurance, our economy is running flawlessly
— Django Gold (@django) February 14, 2021
#7:
how is beauty and the beast a “tale as old as time”? a lady hooks up with a big dog, and all the candles in the house start talking? I hope that hasn’t happened before
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) February 15, 2021
#8:
northern rockhopper penguins are unreasonably glamorous pic.twitter.com/sQKRZPzxlp
— Kaley Brauer 💫 (@kaleybrauer) February 14, 2021
#9:
Meanwhile, inside the box, Schrödinger's cat plans its revenge. pic.twitter.com/C9ZziU4cGC
— Richard Feynman (@ProfFeynman) February 14, 2021
#10:
adulthood is wanting to sleep all day and then delaying going to sleep all night
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 14, 2021