It’s Thursday, so officially second half time! Unofficially a good reason to drink half a bottle of wine, just to celebrate the incoming weekend. Actually, today deserves a full bottle. The surprising news of the death of Rush Limbaugh didn’t come exactly as a shock, but the irony isn’t lost. A man, let’s call him that, it’s shorter than «Satan’s offspring and bringer of evil», who denied the existence of lung cancer gets killed by? Exactly. Lung cancer. The only surprise was that no hole opened up and the Riders of the Apocalypse came with an extra strong shetland pony to bring him home. We know, making fun of the death of a human being isn’t very popular. But for someone who played a «victory sound» on his TV show every time a gay celebrity died of AIDS, we’ll make an exception. Or with the words of the immortal Mark Twain: «I have never killed anyone, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction». Speaking of satisfaction, here are our gems for you. Enjoy!
#1:
You ever think about your 3 irl friends who follow you on Twitter and how they wish they didn't know all of this
— Wile E. Peyote (@e_peyote) February 16, 2021
#2:
This is the funniest cutest thing I’ve seen today 😂 pic.twitter.com/1GZXNnw9C6
— mar (@intxrnetangel) February 14, 2021
#3:
When I meet someone who is happy I automatically assume they have a pill problem
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) February 17, 2021
#4:
for a small fee i’ll attend your funeral in the distance wearing a black leather catsuit while standing in the rain crying, no umbrella so your fam thinks you might have been batman.
— .:RiotGrl:. (@RiotGrlErin) February 15, 2021
#5:
a guy just asked me if he could show me his dick but was SO polite about it is this what it feels like to be a princess
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) February 17, 2021
#6:
Have to find a new doctor cuz I moaned when she hit my knee with her little hammer
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) February 17, 2021
#7:
Heard a Kid Rock song earlier and now I'm wearing an American flag bikini and have a warrant for meth possession
— ho baby 😉 (@ThisLocalHater) February 17, 2021
#8:
I just want to be hot enough that people say I'm misunderstood when I'm being an asshole
— Jason Not Evil (@JasonNotEvil) February 17, 2021
#9:
I will refuse pic.twitter.com/ALecA2v8go
— Robbie Richardson (@londonmikmaq) February 17, 2021
#10:
me: so what exactly does my insurance cover then
anesthesiologist: *brewing pot of sleepy time tea* nothing. this is mine
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) February 17, 2021
