Welcome to the Best of Twitter show. We are pleased to welcome you to our educational evening. These speakers are on stage for you today: Kim, with the ultimate example of dog training gone wrong. Katie talks about the important value of using the correct voices while reading to your kid and Nerd Girl gives a lecture about musical animal education.
#1:
guy in movie: there's 60 seconds until this bomb destroys half the earth
her: I need you to know. I love you.
[84 seconds of kissing]
her: hurry we only have 20 seconds
[32 seconds of tense disarming]
— Jeb (@LlamaInaTux) February 25, 2020
#2:
bro apologize to her…it’s almost her birthday month
— James (@CaucasianJames) February 25, 2020
#3:
this dog literally failed every single test thrown at him to become a service dog and i am scream laughing. but imho he’s still a very very good boy. pic.twitter.com/fGdiUbmw5o
— kim. (@KimmyMonte) February 25, 2020
#4:
high school really had us drinking milk with hamburgers at 11:30AM
— yung payment plan (@ogneen) February 25, 2020
#5:
I have no tolerance for people who refuse to give different voices to characters in a book they’re reading to their kid.
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) February 25, 2020
#6:
Me: you’re mad at me?
Wife: no, not even sure why you would say that.
Me: I can tell by the sound of you putting the plates away.
Wife: fuck you and fuck those plates.
Me: there it is.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) February 26, 2020
#7:
Doctor: I'm afraid you're dying
Me: And there's no cure?
Doctor: Yes just cut out pizza and chocolate
Me: I can't believe there's no cure
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) February 25, 2020
#8:
Aerial from the Little Mermaid has boobs, that would imply that mermaids are mammals, but she is also half fish, which is implying that mermaids come from an egg. Conclusion: mermaids are a type of platypus.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) February 25, 2020
#9:
mario: I hate you
wario: and I hate you
mario:
wario:
mario: do you wanna play tennis
wario: lmao hell yeah
— ⚠️maxx⚠️ (@climaxximus) February 25, 2020
#10:
For the love of god UNMUTE THIS pic.twitter.com/MA48mit8MX
— Nerd Girl Says (@Rachael_Conrad) February 23, 2020
