Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Catch the Twitbird by his toe;
If he squeals so let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…
You just witnessed, how we selected our tweets for today. Sorry, we didn’t sleep much last night. Congrats to the Kansas City Chiefs from Missouri for winning the 54th SuperBowl Championship.
Not much to say. Enjoy our gems of the day!
2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?”
Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.”
2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?”
It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..
— Steve 🏳️🌈 (@papaneedscoffee) January 28, 2020
Jeff Bezos not Shakira not
paying his paying her
taxes taxes pic.twitter.com/aas9q5rgYD
— Gina (@ginadivittorio) February 3, 2020
this woman in starbucks was fighting with someone over the phone and she just put them on speaker so that we could all hear "how dumb you sound"
— JP (@jpbrammer) February 2, 2020
99 smartphones are transported in a handcart to generate virtual traffic jam in Google Maps. Through this activity, it is possible to turn a green street red which has an impact in the physical world by navigating cars on another route! #googlemapshacks https://t.co/3gixMxopE6 pic.twitter.com/6KcMm1XgAF
— Simon Weckert (@simon_deliver) February 1, 2020
First I had to cut back on alcohol for mental well being, then sugar, and now caffeine. What’s next? Cocaine?
— The Vagina Diary (@thevaginadiary) February 1, 2020
thinking about my favorite stock photo series, in which a clown breaks into an office to threaten people with a gun but eventually makes up with them and becomes an integral part of the team pic.twitter.com/frxokL9DE1
— 𝕭𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖓𝖇𝖔𝖔𝖟𝖊 (@goodatsexguy) February 1, 2020
Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you're still stupid.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) January 29, 2020
Super Bowl day is the best day to go out to eat, shop, go outside, breathe. No straight men in sight.
— ✨CASSANDRA (@gringatears) February 2, 2020
god: did you give the dinosaurs more muscle like I asked
angel: wait what
god: I told you to make them meatier
angel: oh MEATier
— ⚠️maxx⚠️ (@climaxximus) January 30, 2020
It’s well known: What flat-Earthers fear most is Sphere itself pic.twitter.com/mh78BN2YuE
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) January 28, 2020