Just in case you don’t know what to do with yourself in the last hours of this winterly Sunday we have a suggestion. Why don’t you set up an application for amazon. We heard there’s a spot available. Long hours, but the benefits are really nice. And don’t worry, people are not picky in case there has been some astonishingly bad sexting in your past. You got nothing to lose, right? Even if you don’t get an interview, we got something to cheer you up: the 10 best tweets from today. Please enjoy!
The NY Times article made it seem like husbands are useless which is maybe true but my husband did drive the baby around for an hour today to make him nap and in the middle texted me “stand at the end of the driveway”, silently handed me a Dairy Queen Blizzard, and drove away.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 6, 2021
once again my day has been ruined by an image on facebook pic.twitter.com/INJdt6OfFE
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) February 5, 2021
went to therapy for the first time and cracked a joke and my therapist just started writing faster what the hell was that
— cal? (@cal_gif) February 6, 2021
Humans really are like “god loves me most I’m his chosen creation” while tortoises can easily live up to 150 years old and have in built armor
— Ash (5’8 70 IQ 34H #finance) (@PUNISHEDASH) February 5, 2021
After turning 35, men must make a decision; to either get really into World War 2 history, or really into smoking various meats
— anime tim (@PostinMonkey) February 6, 2021
When employers want 10 years of experience before you turn 20 pic.twitter.com/ELvsRrZGoQ
when i got robbed in ny i was callin out for spiderman
— kristian (@earth2dot) February 5, 2021
being a guy dating a bi girl means she somehow picked you over WOMEN, which is the highest compliment of all time
— kristofer thomas (@itskristofer) February 4, 2021
Sex is first base. Fourth base is i introduce u to my stuffed animals
— calathea (@eggshellfriend) February 6, 2021
Juli Briskman was the cyclist who gave the Trump motorcade the finger. Donald Trump was so angry he demanded that she be fired, and she was.
She was so angry she decided to run for office and defeated the local Republican candidate.
She has been sworn in, now. pic.twitter.com/O328sAersa
— Jaime Primak (@JaimePrimak) February 6, 2021