Did everybody have a good weekend? Much action? Maybe went to the cinema again? Right now, Dr. Dolittle, Harley Quinn and Bad Boys are being a nice selection of films being offered. If not, that would be a nice idea for tonight. Grab your best friend or loved one and off to the cinema. Of course only after reading the tweets of the day! You shouldn’t miss that!
i’m updating my tinder bio and could totally use some help. use predictive text to finish the line “i’m looking for someone”
here’s mine: i’m looking for someone to eat and then it’s going to be fun
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) February 8, 2020
Me: *puts on Frozen*
2: NO ELSA!
Me: *turns off Frozen*
2: *face turning red* ELSA!
Me: *turns on Frozen*
Me: *turns off Frozen* What do you even want?!
Me: *also sobbing*
— 💘Mummy Dear💘🇨🇦🤦🏼♀️ (@ThatMummyLife) February 8, 2020
Your best advice for Twitter newbies?
Wrong answers only.
— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) February 8, 2020
did anyone else used to watch that show once upon a time?? i cant stop thinking about how that woman gave up her kid for adoption and 10 years later meets him and realizes it’s her son because they both drink their hot chocolate with cinnamon in it??? was that real
— ˗ˏˋ ryn ˎˊ˗ (@onlineryn) February 7, 2020
So I must share:
My child visited campus & she was horrified for students:
“Where are there cubbies? Where do they put their snacks? The desks are TOO small to practice letters. There’s no room for nap time cots. This is ALL wrong”
5 year old’s take on problems with college.
— Jamie L Palmer, PhD (@JamieLPalmerPhD) February 7, 2020
does anyone else lay awake at night thinking about how locking your doors at night only provides the illusion of security like i literally locked myself out of my apartment and broke in with my panera card
— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) February 8, 2020
what’s your silliest intrusive thought? mine is Grab the pigeon. grab it with both hands like a burger then hold it over your head and 𝑟𝑢𝑛
— Boots McGoot allegedly (@BootsMcGoot) February 7, 2020
Just experienced LA to its fullest.
A girl ate a habanero pepper and panicked and someone offered her a glass of milk and she paused mid freak out and goes “do you have almond milk?”
— Nick Lehmann (@NickStopTalking) February 9, 2020
Her: how do you take your coffee?
Me: usually just with my hands
— Ol' Meatbag Roberts (@c12h22o11balls) January 7, 2020
Me: table for two
Hostess: did you have reservations
Me: *whispering* Yes but we’re married now
— Boog (@BoogTweets) February 8, 2020