We made it through the first two weeks of the new year and apart from an attempted coup, a proposed impeachment trial against the American president, and a highly dangerous virus mutation which makes the old version look ridiculous, it was actually quite boring so far, right? Time for us to give you some food for thought. So hold on tight, everyone, today we’re unraveling some secrets for you. First of all, the unbeatable tip on how you can get chips without getting up from the couch, two ways to accumulate immeasurable wealth (including the Elon Musk method), and finally, the secret of perfect camouflage. Buckle up, here are our gems of the day!
why is it spelled «camouflage» and not
— what the actual heck (@jazz_inmypants) January 11, 2021
What I like to see pic.twitter.com/km3z55eAu5
— tas (@tasimisu) January 10, 2021
My wife and I are sitting on the couch watching tv and I hear a text, realizing I left my phone in the kitchen, I get up, go to the kitchen to check it…
and its a text from my wife:
Please bring the chips on your way back
— Doc 🍥 (@DocAtCDI) January 11, 2021
I ordered food from the kebab (again) and when the delivery man come to my door I said omg I’m gunna get so fat and then he text me this😩😩🤣 pic.twitter.com/5rrnsyAKsN
— Shannon (@shannoncharnick) January 10, 2021
pandemic or not why do y’all get so close to people in line at the store
— wiz 🤴🏾 (@ilNeroBack) January 10, 2021
Your daily reminder that the insulin I’ve used for 24 years, Humalog, has gone from $21 a vial to $275 a vial with no changes to the insulin or even the packaging. That’s a 1200% increase on a hormone every human requires to live, but my body can’t make. I die in 48 hours w/o it
— Laura Marston (@Kidfears99) January 10, 2021
absolute kings pic.twitter.com/viH8QOGQVM
— your pal, steely dad 🫖🧸 (@HaitianDvorce) January 11, 2021
Elon Musk is now worth $208 billion.
You want to know how he did it? He skipped 34.67 billion lattes. It’s that easy.
— Stephen Punwasi (@StephenPunwasi) January 10, 2021
What’s always appalled me about this country is how we have so much more empathy for powerful people who commit crimes out of greed than for poor people who commit crimes out of desperation.
— Ida Bae Wells (@nhannahjones) January 9, 2021
babe are you okay you’re barely consuming your five forms of media at the same time
— constantine (@cnstntnnn) January 11, 2021