2021 is two days old, Trump continues to pardon war criminals like he’s playing bingo in a retirement home in Florida (one can hope), the lockdown in Europe is probably not ending anytime soon and Iran has admitted to be working on nuclear bomb material. All in all, this year is off to an impressive start! But dont’t despair, there’s still room for improvement. Personally we hope the murder hornets will make an unexpected comeback, together with polar bears starting hunting humans for sport as a little revenge for the climate change. And perhaps some natural disaster, just as a treat. How’s the region around Pompeji doing nowadays? But before we’re getting too excited, here are some even more exciting tweets. Enjoy!
If I ever see shiny happy people holding hands I'm getting the fuck out of there.
— Pinky’s Brain (@mack44_d) January 2, 2021
I’m such a good friend that if I see you at the grocery store I walk right over to the next aisle and pretend I never saw you.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 2, 2021
me: [last night] in 2021 i’m gonna cry less
me: [today] there’s been a change of plans
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) January 2, 2021
Not now sweetie mommy is bullying her state representative on twitter for being a piss baby
— Shenanigans (@Shenanigans_luv) January 1, 2021
dogs: we tried to fucking warn you pic.twitter.com/A1m07QfFUx
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) January 1, 2021
that feeling when you're getting your ass kicked in mariokart and FINALLY you cross the finish line, only to realize everyone lapped you and you now have to do an entire lap solo while everyone watches uncomfortably
welcome to 2021
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) January 1, 2021
so…… is there an *uncle* histamine?
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) January 1, 2021
My 3yo asked where she was when me and her dad got married. I told her she wasn't born yet, and she got offended. She's very upset we got married without her.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 1, 2021
Grateful for whoever made this. pic.twitter.com/oB6SH9iAg6
— dan levy (@danjlevy) December 30, 2020
“New year, new me”, I whisper, as I shove chunks of brie into my mouth using a knife instead of my hands.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 1, 2021