It’s hard enough to tell workdays apart until the weekend gets in sight while getting up early, trying to avoid dying in traffic (or earlier under the shower, let’s be honest) and arriving at work.
Finally there, coffee is the one thing that prevents you from acting like a desperate squirrel, trying to remember the exact hiding spot of your nuts.
But is there more? There is! Our tweets of the day, free and even funnier than every calender. Enjoy.
Lucky for you, we offer a free and entertaining service to distinguish one day from another. So here it is, our best tweets of the day.
Guy I’m hooking up with: stop telling your friends about us
Me to my friends: anyway then he referred to us as “us”
— princesscryanna (@princesscryanna) January 18, 2020
oh to be a tiny lizard licking an orange. pic.twitter.com/cmp47CD87m
— chloe (@LeoInLaurent) January 18, 2020
netflix: are you still watching
me: no but i cannot be left alone with my thoughts
— conscious robot (@robots_feel) January 17, 2020
That cat was thinking really hard if she wanted to fuck with the dog or not pic.twitter.com/9Z9OGQCLBR
— MB (@babyitsmb) January 19, 2020
Going to sit next to the richest looking middle aged man on my flight and scroll through my nudes for 3 hours straight
— cal? (@cal_gif) January 19, 2020
The 26 richest people on Earth now own as much as the 3.8 billion who form the poorer *half* of the planet’s population.
Again, 26 people own as much as 3.8 billion people.
26 v. 3,800,000,000
— Robert Reich (@RBReich) January 19, 2020
Harry, Duke of Sussex after living a month in Canada pic.twitter.com/adT8PhZOaA
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) January 19, 2020
mental how someone out there has eaten the most crisps in the world and they dont even know about their achievement
— Çåłłüm 🏴 (@callumkchadwick) January 18, 2020
me: I can’t do it I’m too shy, you ask her
friend: no way man you do it
me: *giggles* gimme your money this is a robbery
— pilau (@FU_TangClan) January 17, 2020
Me: I'm exhausted
Fitbit: You have taken 11 steps today
— Oaks (@OakHill_) July 31, 2017