OK, for those who thought that after inauguration they could go back to relaxing under a rock for the next four years and therefore missed the hottest news of the last few days: it’s out – Joe Biden is wearing a Rolex! No, right? But not only that! He also has, hold on tight, a Peloton bike! Good heavens, soon it’s coming out that he is lactose intolerant or using hair gel. Well, you probably have to be stupid or a Republican to consider these two hair-raising pieces of information (i.e. the one about the clock and the exercise bike) to be more serious in terms of fitness for office than, say, employing the entire family and in-laws in public service despite being unqualified, downplaying a pandemic with more that 400,000 dead or just pardon the worse part of the country, but hey, we’ve gotten used to it by now. Just like you got used to the fact that you get the best tweets from us. Hide your watches and get off the exercise bike, here are our gems of the day!
#1:
Headlines complaining about Biden’s peloton and Rolex after 4 years of a dude with a literal gold toilet are beyond parody
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) January 22, 2021
#2:
If I wake up like this please don’t talk to me immediately, I’m trying to remember which day it is pic.twitter.com/1C9oO6FESJ
— 🌬️ (@Oni_misi_) January 24, 2021
#3:
Isn’t it weird how we as a society arrived at “monetize all your hobbies to support yourself” before “rich people should pay their workers better”
— Chance Morgan (@chance_m_morgan) January 24, 2021
#4:
I was trying to calm my 15-yo daughter’s anxiety about driving a car, and the advice that resonated best with her was “think of how many fucking idiots know how to drive a car”
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) January 22, 2021
#5:
homeless….with a Tesla? https://t.co/EYU85wu8WI
— angelic (@kxmren) January 22, 2021
#6:
I hate when my camera asks if I want flash on or off. I don’t know. You’re the camera
— Harrison (@harriweinreb) January 24, 2021
#7:
LA has temporarily suspended air quality restrictions due to the surge in cremations but yes let’s hurry back to Buca di Beppo patio seating and get a mani
— Christopher Cantwell (@ifyoucantwell) January 25, 2021
#8:
Yesterday during a live lesson a student called me a ‹fag› when he thought his mic was off. The amount of emails I have received from other students in the class, checking to see if I’m ok, has been so heartwarming. Change is coming people 😊
— Mr. Brooks (@english_brooks) January 23, 2021
#9:
the sopranos is so cool i wish italians were real
— dan (@Dansplainer) January 23, 2021
#10:
She handled him so effortlessly. pic.twitter.com/x5cgGdhNup
— Leslie Mac (@LeslieMac) January 24, 2021
